Victory Suite
by alterfano
Summary: The battle against Naraku has come to a tragic end, leaving InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku and Sango to sort out the dreams that lie ahead and the nightmares not yet behind them. 3rd place Best Canon, 2nd Place best songficpoem IYFG 2Q06 Awawrds.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

**Victory Suite **

**Prologue**

_Battle's end resolves into stillness,_

_declaring time unwelcome._

_Disturbing the veil between worlds,_

_glimpsing the shadowlands beyond,_

_victor and vanquished lie entangled,_

_one's last breath filling the breast of the other._

_A heart beats and the wheel turns again._


	2. Chapter 2 Victory's Nightmare

_Author's Note: "Victory's Nightmare" is a one-shot story, but it's also the first movement of the three-part symphony, "Victory Suite." Disclaimer: Of course, I don't have any claim on InuYasha or any of these characters – except in my dreams and nightmares – they are the property of R. Takahashi and shall always remain hers._

**Victory's Nightmare**

_In the chilled light of victory's dawning_

_tendril ties of loss slither_

_forth to bind the strong, yoking them,_

_uncertain, to the wheel of death,_

_its merciless turn pulling them down._

_Yanked by fear, seduced by despair, they waver._

_Their triumph becomes hope in the dark._

"I'm going to fucking kill you, InuYasha…"

InuYasha's pain swam aside for a moment, pushed away by a killer's icy voice and a noxious tongue snaking up his neck and into his human ear. He immediately recoiled and brought his hand to Tetsusaiga's hilt, grasping at air. Panic rose in him as it did every time this nightmare came.

"Fuck… ing… kill… you." Jakotsu's voice oozed from his slimy heart, dripping with a twisted desire for blood, and something else, something InuYasha feared even as his body responded to it, battling vulnerability with an unfamiliar aggression.

_You're dead_, InuYasha tried but failed to croak out the incantation that always banished this particular vision back to his subconscious, _die already! _He struggled to wake, believing this a nightmare but unable to open his eyes or move his limbs. He was pinned, something holding him down like a dead weight over his left arm. Pain shot from his shoulder up into his head, sending dizzy waves of nausea into his throat and threatening to black him out into sleep once again. Unlike the other times this nightmare had come upon him, Jakotsu did not recede into darkness, but kept his hot breath heaving onto InuYasha's neck, his sharp blade biting the skin below his victim's fleshy ear. With a groaning exhale, Jakotsu pushed his weapon in only deep enough to draw out the sting of blood, and as he pulled it down the length of InuYasha's naked body bursts of pain spilled through his already tortured muscles. When the knife tip reached InuYasha's groin, Jakotsu lifted it from his skin and purred something inaudible and excited into his ear.

Just as the dark vision reached down without the knife in its hands, groping in the slick blood and sending shoots of adrenaline and panic into his helpless victim, InuYasha managed to say out loud, "Die already!"

Jakotsu did recede this time, drifting back into darkness, but even as InuYasha woke to the half-light of dawn he felt the horror of the nightmare still within him, as though a door to a dark place had been opened but not fully closed. Checking that his human form had also receded into dream, the hanyou reassured himself with a pinch of his claws against his palm and his fangs against his tongue. If only Tetsusaiga were really there.

Unwelcome memory returned as he felt Miroku, the almost dead weight on his arm, shift in fevered sleep under the blanket of moss that protected them from the winter's storm. The movement pushed hot daggers into InuYasha's eyes, which opened without focusing. Remembering Kagome's warnings about concussions, InuYasha fought his body's instinctive panic at not being able to see or smell with his normal acuteness, and he struggled to gain a fix on his world through his still-functioning senses of hearing and touch. His nose brought him confused sensations, and though he detected the shouki and blood bathing them both, he could not discern whom the blood belonged to originally. It didn't matter; he knew it to be everyone's. The smell roiled his stomach again.

His body ached and he resigned himself to pain whether he moved or stayed still. He shifted his arm from under his friend, gasping at the hot jolts of muscular anguish bursting in his limbs and coursing through his veins into his head. Miroku groaned in unconscious pain and InuYasha had the presence of mind to be glad that the houshi hadn't died in the night. Free of the weight, and breathing through the agony and nausea that came over him when he moved, InuYasha backed out of the moss into the snow drift that had formed around them, closing Miroku back up to what warmth he could leave behind.

The cold felt good against his burning skin as he sat in the snow drifted glade, but the white hurt his eyes and he had to close them, letting them adjust slowly. Unmoving, waiting for the pain behind his lids to recede, he brooded on their victory. A slow seething anger overcame him, born from the habit of hating Naraku. Rather than handing them a clean victory, the bastard had forced them into horrible choices in order to defeat him, ensuring that more death became the price of life. Kikyou, Kohaku and Kouga all lay somewhere under the snow, lifeless. Dead. As this memory found him, an uncomfortable shift in the landscape occurred behind his closed eyes. They were there, within arms reach. The dead were living here in this frozen place with him. And Miroku, on the verge of death, was here too. Maybe they were all dead and he was just too stubborn to realize it. He smiled weakly at the irony of this thought even as it chilled him.

He'd know he were alive if Kagome were there with him, but she was far away from him now. His thoughts became caught between the dead and the living again. Kikyou had chosen to move on to the next world, helping bring down Naraku in her own way and accepting his choice to save Kagome. Watching Kikyou fall beneath Naraku's poisonous assault, even as he'd whisked Kagome out of its path, had been the hardest thing he'd ever done. He'd chosen life for himself, but if Kagome did not live, would he come to regret that choice? The silence of the snow-drifted forest was like the world holding its breath with him… waiting for the veil to be lifted and the living to come forth.

Gods, he missed Kagome. The last time he'd had a concussion, she'd been his eyes and his guide through the healing process, her warm hands moving him through the world and her warm heart talking him through the fears. Now he had only his worry for her left to him, her bloody body carried off on Kilala with the completed jewel tucked to her weakly beating heart. She was unconscious when he'd last touched her, unable to see her face and unable to smell her. His heart ached at the memory of her limp fingers slipping from his when Kilala left the ground. As he sat with hollow fear in his heart, he realized that he was close to losing everything and the emptiness that filled him was unbearable. A tear formed in his closed eyes, the pain the cold and the dread coming together to force it on him. _Hurry, Sango. Hurry for me._

The weak prayer was all he had to offer and InuYasha made himself open his eyes. Like a wheel turning, he moved on to his next task and set about trying to do what he could to ensure their survival now that the storm had stopped. Groaning, he placed his hands on his knees and began to stand, but his stomach lurched violently in a sickening motion and the world whipped around him. Before he knew it he saw the white sky dancing between the treetops as he slammed down on his back. He blinked at the small snowflakes wandering into his eyes and tried to calm the surging in his stomach while slowly taking in the fact that he'd lost his balance. He lost the fight and turned to retch into the snow, bile being the only thing left to lose.

It took him the better part of the morning to learn to move without falling over. Periodically, he would stop to fight the nauseating hitches in his stomach as he forced his tormented body to keep going, battling despair and despondency with every step. The pain in his shoulder and head became his savior, a constant burn around which he could center himself, a purpose to make him keep propelling himself forward with grim determination. Exploring the area by touch more than sight or smell, he came upon a large blackness which turned out to be a shallow cave, apparently abandoned by a large beast or youkai.

Throughout the day he used a crude bark sled to drag Miroku, his shouki stained body still huddled under the moss blanket, and some firewood to the cave where he started a fire. Through the passing hours, he rested frequently and moved slowly, struggling to maintain his orientation. At one point, he was thankful to notice some of his eyesight returning, or perhaps he was just getting used to seeing so poorly. Often, he stopped to press small amounts of snow into the fevered houshi's mouth, holding his jaw closed to let it melt into water, the little he could do to keep the man alive.

Through the long hours of pain and effort, InuYasha tried not to think about how precarious their situation was. Miroku was horribly injured, having taken a shouki tentacle to the hip, which poured more of the venomous substance into his already poisoned body. With Naraku's death his kazaana had almost healed, but his internal shouki wounds, including the dark stain on his hand and around his heart, remained. Almost healed, but not quite. This stain worried InuYasha more than anything besides Kagome's unknown fate. If Naraku was completely dead, wouldn't the kazaana be gone? Or had Miroku taken so much of the monster's shouki into himself that he could no longer fully heal?

Kikyou's dying words had assured InuYasha that Naraku was now in the jewel and that she was going to join him there, sealing him along with Midoriko and her ancient nemesis. She had also warned him that Kagome would need his help to heal and told him not to leave her side. "She needs your love, InuYasha. Only something so strong as that will call her back." Kikyou had forgiven him, and then she was gone. Remembering how she had sagged into his arms as the glowing souls abandoned her earthy form, he looked sullenly into the grey light of the forest, exhausted, hollow and full of sorrow.

_Kikyou … in the end I couldn't help you … and now I can't help Kagome either._

Helpless anger rose up in him again only to be sucked weakly into the emptiness he felt inside, a deep emptiness that seeped out to meet the freezing air he breathed into his lungs and chilled him to the bone. What had he done, sending Kagome off with Sango? Shouldn't he have gone too? Then he remembered Sango's warning that without his balance, he wouldn't be able to keep himself, much less Kagome, from falling off Kilala as they flew. His stomach churned at the thought of flying right now. But still, he'd let Kagome go when she needed him most. The cold settled in his heart.

At the early signs of dusk, he admitted to himself that Sango would not return this day and they would have to survive another night in the cold. He hoped fervently that Kagome had not taken a turn for the worse, and that Sango was delayed simply because the youkai slayer had found Toutousai and that he was taking the time to repair Tetsusaiga. His mind moving slowly, InuYasha realized that she would return in the morning to the tree where she had left them and another snow storm might cover their tracks. Since he wasn't sure they had enough firewood to last the night anyway, he hauled his weakened body back out into the snow, leaving a firewood trail back to where he had started that morning. He noticed with some satisfaction that his balance was slightly more reliable and he _keh'_d quietly with the irony of his thought, that he should feel so glad for such pathetic control over his limbs. Along the way, thoughts of the night ahead haunted him, how many more nightmares lay in wait for him tonight? He often dreamed of Naraku when he was angry, but he rarely dreamed of Jakotsu. Jakotsu had been the only nemesis to make him feel such primitive fear, a penetrating fear that went to the very core of him, to the place where the youkai in him lived.

Trying unsuccessfully to shake off his dark thoughts, InuYasha arrived at the place of their previous night's rest, not far from the final battle site. He didn't have enough strength to fell a tree, but he managed to find a large limb he could turn into a pointer on the ground. It was partially buried in the snow, and he had to dig down under it to free it from its frozen prison. He had long ago lost the ability to feel in his fingers or his toes, but his hand encountered something he recognized was not the snow or the limb. It was soft, giving under the pressure of his grip. Willing his fingers to squeeze, he lifted it up from where it hid.

About two feet wide and several inches thick, the mass felt fleshy and smelled noxious with shouki. He dropped it quickly, feeling the adrenaline shoot painfully into his pounding head. It had to be a piece of Naraku. A piece he and Sango had missed when they'd used Kagome's last arrow to purify every piece they could find in the falling snow once the monster was dead.

Standing still in the rapidly approaching dark he was not sure what to do. Kagome's arrow was buried somewhere under the snow, he was dizzy with exertion, Miroku lay near death and now this. He decided to leave it where it lay; Sango could help him find the arrow in the morning. Unnerved, he headed back to the cave, collecting the firewood as he went, hoping it was enough to get them through to morning.

Miroku was groaning under the remains of the moss blanket when he returned. After stoking the fire, InuYasha moved to the houshi's side, feeling his neck to assess the strength of his heartbeat. His heart was slow, but what worried the hanyou more was that he felt so little warmth from the man's skin close to his heart. It did not surprise him that Miroku's hands and feet were frigid, but for his chest and neck to be cold was not good. It meant he was losing the battle against the cold. Knowing that his walk back with the firewood had circulated his own blood again, InuYasha did the only thing he could to try and warm the houshi, the same thing he'd done last night; he lay down behind him, his back to the cave wall with his Fire Rat-covered arm draped over the houshi's chest and the remains of the moss blanket over them both.

InuYasha worried as Miroku continued to shiver, letting small, sick sounds out as though nightmares were chasing him too. After a time, however, the houshi calmed and when he reached around to feel his heart again, InuYasha was relieved to feel some warmth returning to his body. InuYasha felt the heat growing between them. He was pleased to feel it finally warming his feet, which had taken the brunt of his day's work. The rising temperature grew and made him sleepy. He felt a vague fear of the night ahead, but the warmth lulled him and coaxed him into sleep.

He did dream many dreams that night.

At some point in the night, in between rising to stoke the fire several times, he came almost awake and felt Kagome's warm form in front of him. He felt the heat of her as he pushed himself against her rear, enjoying this one feeling of vitality in his otherwise shaky body and hoping this meant that some of his strength was returning. Leave it to his damn cock to be the first thing to recover. In the muzzy state of sleep, he let the enjoyment tease him awake, to push away some of the pain he felt everywhere else. Then he remembered something – something he immediately wished he could forget.

It was Miroku he'd lain with tonight in the cave, not Kagome. As if on cue, the houshi's voice drifted out from in front of his face.

"Well, you can't be too injured …"

"Uh-" InuYasha felt his face burn red and he quickly scooted back to give himself a little room from his friend's butt. "I was dreaming."

"Huh," Miroku was conscious for the first time in almost forty eight hours, which gave InuYasha a sense of relief underneath his embarrassment. He heard the houshi laugh weakly, his voice still foggy, "…wish I could have that dream about now. I feel like shit."

"Keh," InuYasha said softly, glad Miroku felt well enough to swear. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Miroku sounded as if he had other things on his mind; as if, given everything they'd been through, this little indiscretion was trivial. "Dreaming and doing are two different things."

"We don't have to talk about this," InuYasha growled without anger, the blush burning his skin again. Miroku grunted an assent and was quiet for a moment.

"Who was in your dream?" Miroku hadn't moved, but his sense of humor was quickly returning. "Just tell me it wasn't me."

"Hardly." InuYasha paused, knowing he was about to admit something the houshi had wanted to know for a long time, and that it would put them back into the right male-to-male banter they wanted. "It was Kagome."

"Ah." Understanding infused this simple sound along with a fearful tightening as the memories came back to him, "How is she?"

"I don't know," the worry came back full force as he realized it had also been about forty eight hours since he'd last seen Kagome alive. He gulped and his voice constricted making it hard to complete his answer. "She was unconscious and bleeding ..." _She's either getting better – or dead – by now,_ these words he couldn't say out loud.

"And Sango?" Miroku's voice was tense. InuYasha remembered he'd been unconscious before the battle ended.

"She's fine, better than any of us." InuYasha tried to make his words ring true to calm Miroku's fears. "She kicked ass, Miroku. Kagome and I couldn't have done it without her – or you. She's taken Kagome to the village …"

"Good." Miroku sounded relieved and proud of his slayer. After a moment, he said quietly, "I need to see her again, before …."

InuYasha felt he knew what Miroku left unsaid, _before I die. _He wished he had comforting words, but he didn't. "Is it painful?"

"Yeah." Miroku sounded a little frightened, "Inside and out." His robes rustled and InuYasha saw him raise his hand to his face, moving the protective cloth aside to reveal the purple stain of shouki. "Damn it!" he said.

"It's been there the whole time." InuYasha knew the houshi was tamping down fear so he said the only thing he could think of that might help him. "I've been watching it though, and it hasn't gotten any bigger."

"Thanks," Miroku didn't sound very relieved. InuYasha rose to tend the fire again. Miroku saw him move unsteadily, and seemed to realize for the first time that his companion had not left the battle unscathed. "Are you okay, InuYasha?"

"Keh!" InuYasha tried to sound more confident than he felt as he briefly steadied himself against the cave wall. "I'm pretty beat up, can't trust my balance, can't see real clear." He felt a wave of nausea suck his stomach up and drop it back down, and though he hated the sickened feeling it gave him, he was aware that this time it was bearable. "Good news is, I don't think I'll throw up on you anymore." He saw the houshi's eyes widen and pushed out a weak laugh. "Don't worry, I managed to miss you most of the time you were out." He saw Miroku's mouth working and his dry tongue try unsuccessfully to wet his lips. "You thirsty?" Miroku nodded his head.

InuYasha got the houshi some snow to sooth his parched throat, but the icy cold in his mouth caused him to begin shivering again. Miroku gave a faint smile and said between chattering teeth, "If you promise to keep your claws to yourself, I'll let you back in here."

"Keh." InuYasha said and crawled back under the moss, glad again for the warmth.

They drifted back to sleep after that and the dreams held off for a while. InuYasha smelled the dawn before its light played across his closed eyelids, and he was awake enough to be thankful that his nose was returning to normal. In his early morning haze, he began to dream again of Kagome, and the predictable hard-on rose once more. He'd moved far enough away from Miroku that he could enjoy it this time and he let the feeling of it wake him up slowly.

Unexpectedly, his dream of Kagome began to darken, washing a grey sheen over the morning's sunlight. His warm dream became a nightmare as Kagome morphed into the muscular, effeminate form of Jakotsu. This newly minted Jakotsu did not bend to lick his ear as the others had done, but knelt and carefully placed a sword tip at his throat.

"You're dead," InuYasha said aloud, surprised that the words pushed the sharp tip of the sword more deeply against his skin. "Die already." He felt Miroku stir in front of him, but the houshi did not speak. Unlike the other nightmares, this one did not end with the magic words uttered. It talked back.

"Oh, InuYasha, you wouldn't do that to me, not this time," Jakotsu's pouty voice was silken smooth, high pitched and deceptively playful. "Not when I've just found myself the perfect little pair, already wrapped up and ready for bed." A wave of fear ran through InuYasha as he felt the sword push gently into the soft skin of his throat, coaxing out a drop of blood that ran down his neck and under his suikan. This Jakotsu was not a dream, or even a nightmare; he was real. A sharp smell of earth mixed with shouki stung InuYasha's nose, and when he opened his eyes an unclear image of a purple patterned kimono and a scarred face wavered over the sword against his throat, a sword that was hovering inches above Miroku's neck.

"You can't be here," InuYasha growled, "you're dead." Another drop of blood fell, clinging to the trail of the first.

"I told you to kill me when we met last, but you couldn't do it, could you?" Some of InuYasha's fear came into focus, remembering how he'd left the half-dead Jakotsu buried in the rubble of Mt. Hakurei. All this time, that stupid decision not to eliminate the bastard once and for all had haunted him. And his worst fear, the fear of his own stupidity born out of some kind of misplaced compassion, was now holding him at sword point. "You knew we'd meet again, didn't you? All I ever wanted was to have you like this. And here you are, waiting for me." InuYasha realized his cock was still standing straight up under his hakama pants and the moss blanket. In an instant the full fear of this nightmare was upon him.

"But enough of games. We have some decisions to make, you and I." Jakotsu's voice lost its teasing tone and lowered into a deadly serious register, revealing his true purpose as he began his ritual, twisted planning of murder. "There are so many ways to do it. Should I make you screw your friend while I slice off his fingers and jerk off in his mouth?" He moved his free hand along Miroku's hip and outer thigh. The houshi didn't move. "Or should I kill him first? Then I'd have you all to myself." His attention was back on InuYasha and his voice became twisted. "I'd like that. I'd like to fuck you until your asshole bleeds and then stab you in the back right when I blow my wad into you." InuYasha felt a growl beginning in his chest. "I do so like blood," Jakotsu said absentmindedly as he moved the moss blanket aside and looked down the length of their bodies over the hilt of his sword.

"Oh, InuYasha!" Jakotsu's voice had risen to become disconcertingly flirtatious again as his eyes moved to InuYasha's waist. "You _have_ missed me!" He reached out over Miroku and InuYasha felt a stab of fear mixed with anger burst into his heart, "How sweet, you were dreaming of me. Look at this magnificent, hard cock. We shouldn't waste this!" The second before the bastard's hand touched him, InuYasha thrust his arm against the blade, feeling the edge of it slice into his wrist as he pulled its tip across the soft skin of his neck. Jerking his head back, he managed to ensure that it missed the artery. As Jakotsu adjusted his balance, Miroku reached out to grab at his ankle and jerk it so that the monster fell on his back, barely missing the fire.

Completely ignoring his pain and his insides' sickening lurch, in a rush of anger and adrenaline InuYasha lunged over Miroku and kicked at Jakotsu's sword arm. His impaired balance and depth perception kept him from making solid contact and he only managed to knock the sword away before having to steady himself by leaning heavily on his bent knees. Before he knew it, the very real specter was grasping for its hilt again. Letting his growl fuel his battle energy, InuYasha fell on his nemesis, pinning him to the ground and reaching for the sword. He managed to grab the weapon just as Jakotsu's fingers wrapped around its hilt, their hands sliding against each other in the blood pumping from InuYasha's arm. InuYasha was still strong enough to prevent him from using the sword, but too weak to do much else until he caught his breath, propping himself on his elbows over his enemy.

Underneath him, he heard Jakotsu's playful voice say, "Ahhhhh, InuYasha. What a good idea," and he felt the hard pressure of Jakotsu's cock rising against his own just as the beast's tongue lapped at the blood on his neck, his lips closing on the slice in the hanyou's throat, sucking at the still oozing wound. InuYasha growled in frustration again, holding off a whole new wave of nausea, but this only had the effect of arousing the monster below him, causing him to writhe and squirm against his captor's weight, obviously exciting himself and creating an uncomfortable amount of friction. Jakotsu's body felt strange, soft and pliable, very unlike a warrior's.

"Stop it, asshole!" The remnants of InuYasha's fear were disintegrating in wave upon wave of anger.

"That's it." Jakotsu moaned seductively, "That's exactly what I want." His free arm, the one not grasping for the sword, moved over InuYasha's rear and up his back to wrap itself in his hair, yanking his head back to expose his neck to groping lips. InuYasha's body, still pumping with adrenaline, responded with a burst of strength.

"Enough!" InuYasha brought an elbow down on the beast's face below him on the ground. He yanked his head forward, feeling the sharp sting of hair ripping from his scalp as Jakotsu's fingers loosened only slightly. He took both hands and wrested the sword from Jakotsu's bloody grasp, rolling off him and over the fire. Thanking his father once again for the Fire Rat's protection, he did his best to stand after completing the roll.

He managed to get to his feet before Jakotsu could move to attack, but he wasn't stable enough to withstand the awkward body slam that came at him over the fire embers. The bastard was till reaching for his dick! Instinctively, using Jakotsu's sword which he held in his sticky hand, InuYasha swung down on the outstretched arm, careful to keep it far away from his own body. The sword, a delicate thing that felt strange in his grasp, went through Jakotsu's arm as though it were hardly there. Instead of blood, a dark substance that smelled of shouki dripped thickly out of the stump.

InuYasha did not take the time to examine this, but kicked at the beast, pressing the sword tip into the ground for balance. Once Jakotsu was on the ground, InuYasha held the sword to his throat.

"Any reason I shouldn't kill you right now?" His growl carried pure hatred in its timbre.

"Oh, InuYasha," Jakotsu's pouty expression was back, speaking his name as if he were a pet. "You can try, but it won't make me want you any less." With these words, Jakotsu reached down to pull his cinched kimono away, exposing a bare leg.

Before he could reach for anything else, InuYasha sliced through the strange body, severing Jakotsu's head, smile still intact. Continuing to grasp the sword, he stepped back near the broken fire. The body did not move, did not even give off the shivers of rigor mortis or the burbles of bodily functions coming to a halt. After a few moments, InuYasha saw Miroku trying to sit up and went to help him, keeping the sword close at hand. Then he built up the fire again, hoping to hold off the chill brought on by the bloody wake-up call and the early morning breeze on the snow.

"InuYasha." Miroku's voice held a fearful tone, which brought the hanyou around to face the houshi. "That's Sango's sword."

InuYasha looked at the sword lying between them. He saw the touch of red cord on it and recognized in retrospect the weight of a woman's weapon. Miroku lifted the sword carefully and ran his fingers gingerly along its length.

Leaving the houshi to his worries, the hanyou skirted the newly crackling fire to look more closely at the corpse. He heard a wet squelching sound and blinked as he watched Jakotsu's head roll sightlessly in little movements to reattach to his body. He saw the man's eyes move then, small dark dots trailing across the white of his face. The eyes blinked accompanied by a coyly disturbing smile on his face.

"InuYasha! I'm beginning to think you don't want me!"

"Damn it!" InuYasha grabbed the thing's kimono and noticed for the first time that it, too, felt fleshy under his touch, lightweight and insubstantial. Gripping it tightly, he managed to throw the creature against the cave wall so that it landed in an awkward sitting position, its exposed leg bent at an odd angle under its body. Stumbling back, he moved his foot quickly out of the way as the severed arm rolled its way over to the corpse to reattach itself. Retrieving the sword from Miroku, he pointed it straight at Jakotsu and said, "Bastard! What are you doing with Sango's sword!"

"Oh, InuYasha … I can't tell you if you slice me up again." The creature pretended to plead but InuYasha wasn't having any of it.

"Yes, you can!" he yelled as he sliced off a foot and threw it out into the snow. He was disgusted to note that the creature seemed to feel no pain at the amputation. "It may come back, but it will take a while. Tell me what I want to know! Where did you get this sword?"

Jakotsu's expression changed, the cold-blooded killer coming forth again with a nonchalance that stilled their breath. "I killed her for it." The thing now turned to look at Miroku. InuYasha positioned himself between them. "Last night, when she came back to collect you from the battle field." Miroku made an involuntary sound. "I attacked her and slit her throat with her own sword. She was an easy target, thinking you'd won the battle."

"We did win the battle!" InuYasha felt a rising tide in him, an alarm that Sango lay dead or dying near them in the snow, somewhere close within their reach. "You're lying!"

"Am I?" The thing was now talking to the houshi, fully aware of the seeds of dismay he was sowing. "You hate me for killing her. Do you want me to tell you exactly how she died? I can tell you what she screamed, how her body felt as it jerked uncontrollably in my arms, how her breath bubbled from her throat and mixed with the blood that washed over my hand-"

"I'm not going to tell you again to shut up!" At InuYasha's outburst, the Jakotsu beast fell silent, with a slight smile on its lips. InuYasha looked at Miroku and knew both of them were very shaken. "I don't smell her blood on him, Miroku." InuYasha tried to sound more confident than he felt, still not quite ready to trust his senses. Miroku didn't look at him but stared straight ahead at Sango's self-professed murderer.

"What do you want?" The houshi's voice was strained, sweat dripping from his shivering lips.

"I want what I've always wanted, blood, death and excitement." Jakotsu's voice was growing impatient and his eyes slid to InuYasha's waistline. "And this time, I also want – revenge."

"That's not happenin'," InuYasha's voice dropped menacingly, reacting reflexively to the insinuation left unsaid.

"And why should we let you have revenge on us?" Miroku's voice wavered and it was clear that he was now suffering many more wounds than the shouki could possibly account for.

"Because I am the only one that can save Kagome now that she is all alone." His eyes bored into the houshi's. "Now that InuYasha has abandoned her." Jakotsu shifted his gaze to look straight at InuYasha, his eyes unwavering. InuYasha stopped breathing for a moment, extremely aware of how far away Kagome was from his protective sphere, and how little he knew about her fate.

"I didn't abandon her, you asshole!" InuYasha's anger was coming back and wrapping a warm blanket around the ice forming on his heart. What did this creature know about Kagome? "I sent her back to heal! She's safe and you can't touch her!"

"Oh, poor InuYasha. I forgot you don't know." The creature shook its head in mock sympathy and took on the air of a vicious tease, "She's not safe. She's as good as dead at this very second. The jewel she carries could save her if she were conscious and could use it, but instead, because she can't purify it, it's rotting her spirit. Poor thing," its voice turned venomous, "she's dying alone. You might be able to save her if you could touch her, if you were there. But you're not there, are you? You sent her away." Jakotsu's voice was lowering again into the deadly sound of a murderer. "Unlike you, I am connected to the jewel. I don't have to touch her to heal her – or kill her. I can do it from here. Give me what I want and she'll live."

"Shut up! You're fucking lying." InuYasha did not feel or sound as confident as he wanted to, though, and he was very conscious of his heart beating loudly against his ribcage as the cold crept in once again. "Why should we believe you?"

"Because the jewel lived in my flesh for longer than your girl has held it. Because I know how to manipulate it, shape its power to my will. Because I know what it really is. Your woman does not understand this yet." He looked out of the cave's entrance into the snow, searching for something.

"Look at me!" InuYasha hated the fact that the creature's words fueled his dread, bringing forth foreboding images of Kagome's sightless eyes as she struggled against the tainted jewel's spell. Unsettled by the thing's efforts to see behind him, he risked a glance back and was relieved at first to see the peaceful snowscape. Then his eye caught a movement at the edge of the clearing. His tensed nerves jerked the sword in his hand towards the shifting snow as the beast's foot emerged into the clearing, clunking towards its master.

"What _are_ you?" InuYasha stepped closer to try and answer his own question. "You're not that Jakotsu bastard. You smell like shouki."

"Jakotsu was nothing but bones and earth raised from the dead and animated by the jewel." The thing sounded infuriatingly confident and vaguely familiar, changing personality yet again. "I'm made up of something else, but I am all the evil memories of him you carry in your heart, and more."

"What are you talking about?" The strain in Miroku's voice had increased, and InuYasha saw him shiver again, trying to wrap the remains of the moss blanket around his shoulders. It fell away into pieces. InuYasha huffed out a frustrated sound and reached down to grab the putrid foot as it came past him, crinkling his nose as he sniffed it before throwing it back out into the snow. He stepped forward and sliced off the thing's other foot, holding it and feeling it for a moment. "What is it?" Miroku asked. InuYasha tossed it to the houshi, his eyes never leaving the thing in front of him. Miroku examined it closely before throwing it back to land at InuYasha's feet, the concern on his features deepening. InuYasha took it and heaved it off in the other direction.

"You understand, don't you, InuYasha?" The Jakotsu thing was unaffected by its dismemberment, looking intently at the hanyou in front of him.

InuYasha did understand that their victory was not complete. Miroku coughed with a sound that rattled up from his chest, and InuYasha backed around the fire, his blood boiling to the point that he thought his suikan was better used by Miroku. He gave the warm Fire Rat jacket to the houshi before moving back to face this new nemesis, the small sword held out as his only protection.

"You're what's left of that bastard, Naraku." InuYasha couldn't help the snarl in his words. "I found part of you last night near where we killed him."

"Exactly." The thing had become patronizing, and a shadow of Naraku's voice rung from it's throat. "I retain the memories and some of the power of Naraku. And when you picked me up, you gave me your memories, _and your nightmares."_

"But you're not Naraku himself." Miroku seemed more coherent now, wrapped in the warm Fire Rat fur. "You are weak."

"I am not Naraku, this is true." It shifted its fleshy stumps, which grew new feet in a matter of seconds; bending its knees, it stood to its former height. "But I am not weak." It took one step forward towards InuYasha, who saw the pouty personality of Jakotsu descend on it like a mask. "Come on, InuYasha, Kagome's life is waiting." It took another step forward. "I'll let you make me bleed instead. You'd like that, wouldn't you? Stab all your hatred and fear into me, cut me with it until-"

"Shut up!" InuYasha roared, his voice sending echoes of pain up into his head.

InuYasha had never missed Tetsusaiga more than he did at that moment. The deep-seated desire to channel all his hatred, desperation and guilt into his weapon, then obliterate everything in front of him with a blast of energy, was beginning to consume him. His emotions were so roiled in his belly that he could barely form a thought and his nausea was simmering at dangerous levels. The creature did not advance, but as proof of its threat it reached to grasp the small sword InuYasha pointed at it, letting the blade penetrate gently into its flesh.

"Come into me with your blade, InuYasha," The creature frowned in mock irritation as it pulled the sword into its torso, piercing the fleshy fabric and whatever was underneath. Then it reached its free hand toward the hanyou, "I ache for you to enter me, impale me, flail against me in a frenzy until you are spent."

Thoughts from some rational part of his brain began to scream at him to get away from the thing drawing him in, but another within him responded to the hatred and helplessness of the situation with a fire burning in his veins. He felt the beginnings of his youkai arousal, and for the first time in his life he let it come willingly, he welcomed it, welcomed the abandon it would give him, welcomed the complete destruction it would lay on this disgusting creature in front of him. He wanted the sense of power it would give him when he felt totally powerless, unable to trust his body and unable to use his physical strength to reach the woman whose life he had placed in jeopardy. The small rational creature inside him continued to raise a horrified howl as it felt the youkai blood rising, pushing him into darkness, filling him with burning energy and bringing his sex up with it in a frothing boil. But he couldn't help it; it was part of the blood lust, part of the abandon he craved.

Miroku sensed some of what was happening. "InuYasha! He's lying!" The houshi shifted forward when the hanyou didn't move. "Kagome is fine. I can tell." Still, InuYasha didn't move a muscle. "InuYasha! If you do this, you will threaten her life more! Trust me, I can sense it."

That small rational being inside him felt relief flood him at these words. Without caring if they were true, it used the information to fight a battle of wills that froze his limbs. Just then the Jakotsu thing pulled the sword all the way through its body, poking the blade out its back. Reaching for InuYasha's neck, it moved to bring his lips closer, to touch... Both halves of the hanyou revolted at this gesture and heaved up on the sword to split the thing in half. It reformed quickly, but this gave InuYasha time to step back and begin to get control of himself. His own life wasn't threatened yet; he could stop the transformation if he wanted to.

"You still want to abandon yourself to stabbing at me, don't you?" The thing was not done talking. "I can see it in your eyes, InuYasha. You want me helpless under your hatred, writhing under your fear, dying under your blade."

"I said, shut up!" InuYasha took a deep breath and another step back. He wasn't going to let himself get goaded by this thing anymore. "Yes, I want you dead…" _but not like that!_ He thought he heard a sigh of relief from the houshi, who understood his hesitation correctly.

In the space of the silence that followed, an animal growl came to them on the wind. InuYasha looked up to see a welcome sight. Kilala, flames trailing her feet and tail, arced down over the trees with a lithe dark shape on her back, framed by a large bone hiraikotsu. _Sango!_ They landed lightly and Sango rushed up to InuYasha, holding out his sheathed Tetsusaiga. Kilala took up a position next to them, growling flames at the creature before them.

"Sango, you're alive!" InuYasha's relief was obvious as he took the Tetsusaiga from her. A similar but sobbing sound came from the houshi behind him.

"Of course I am." She looked tired and seemed confused by his statement. She looked warily at the creature before him. "Is that…?"

"A fucking liar!" InuYasha did not want to explain.

"InuYasha," Sango glanced past him at the houshi, clearly worried, and then back at the Jakotsu-thing, trying to decide how best to help. "Kagome is still very injured. Kaede wants you to go back to her as soon as you can. Something is happening between her and the jewel. Kaede doesn't understand it." Sango reached around to grasp a container fastened to her belt. "Kilala is tired so I'll wait here with houshi-sama."

InuYasha's stomach churned at these words, had this bastard been telling the truth? Was Kagome really powerless to help herself, unconscious and lost in limbo between life and death? He looked at the thing in front of him, whose face cracked in a wild smile, and felt a new rage rise within him.

"InuYasha," Sango had more to say, "Kagome said there is still evil here. I think she purified the Tetsusaiga."

"She's awake?" Relief flowed into him like a cool mountain spring on hot embers as Sango nodded.

"Well, she's spoken…," Sango hesitated to reassure him, but he'd heard all he needed to be filled with hope.

"Thanks, Sango. Go take care of Miroku." InuYasha held Tetsusaiga up to look at it, realizing the other sword in his hand felt like a cooking knife compared to the solid heft of _his_ weapon. "Oh, and this is yours, isn't it?" He held out the smaller sword to Sango.

"Yes," she said, surprised as she reached for it, "I lost it in the battle. Where did you find it?"

"Take care of your houshi."

Sango smiled as she stepped around the fire. "Miroku, Kaede made this for you and Kagome blessed it with the jewel. Drink it quickly."

As the houshi and the slayer sat together, InuYasha wrapped his fingers lovingly around Tetsusaiga's hilt and withdrew the blade with relish from the carefully polished sheath. He sensed more than saw the disappointment coming from the creature in front of him.

Immediately, he felt Kagome's presence flowing into him at the same time his own energy rose from the soles of his feet, through his groin and into his heart to course powerfully from his hands into the sword, expanding it as an extension of his very soul. Her peaceful blessing soothed his uneasy heart, creating room for the strength that lived there naturally to come forth. More than just strength, it sent a healing energy into him, washing away the pain in his head and sharpening his senses. It was with great satisfaction that he confronted the beast in front of him.

"Now, you die forever," he said in a dangerous tone. Speaking more to himself than to the creature, he continued, "You and everything you stand for."

"No, InuYasha," the smile on its face was eerie and knowing, "I never die. For I still live in you."

As he raised Tetsusaiga over his head, knowing instinctively that his great physical force was unnecessary; InuYasha used the purified strength radiating from his heart and flowing through the blade to dissolve the beast before him. The creature, its face still frozen in a mask of horror, melted in a fiery blaze of sparks as the glowing white fang fell upon it, leaving no trace of its existence behind. He stared at the spot it had occupied, waiting for something more, but nothing happened.

"Yeah," he said as he probed the place where the Jakotsu thing had been, "you die alright."

Approaching Miroku and Sango, he sheathed Tetsusaiga and knelt, feeling strong once again. "How do you feel?"

"Much better," Miroku looked relieved and InuYasha knew it was for more than his own well being. "Oi!" Miroku jerked his hand and raised it to his face, peeling back the beads and cloth that had protected him from himself for so long. "It's healed!" He showed the clean skin to his friends.

Sango made a strangled sound and whispered through brimming tears, "Houshi-sama-"

InuYasha was also moved by Miroku's fortune, and he laid a hand on his friend's shoulder, squeezing lightly to convey his feelings; gratitude mixing with the happiness he felt for Miroku.

"Thanks," he said in a low voice, "I don't know what I would have done if it weren't for you." Miroku smiled at him and their eyes locked for a moment, sharing thoughts unsaid. InuYasha asked, "How did you know Kagome was okay?"

"I didn't," Miroku laughed lightly, possibly masking emotion, "I just knew you'd do something stupid if you didn't believe it."

InuYasha shuddered a little bit, not wanting to think about how close he'd been to being that stupid.

"What happened?" Sango was clearly not following the conversation.

"Nothing," Miroku smiled up at her and cupped her face in his newly healed hand. "Just a nightmare. But now that you're here the sun is up again." They looked in each other's eyes and smiled deeply, a signal to InuYasha that he should leave.

"I'll come back for you as soon as I can," InuYasha said quietly as he put his suikan back on and let Sango settle a warm blanket over Miroku's shoulders. He left them in a huddle, and mounting Kilala, he allowed his heart to turn to his next journey: helping Kagome heal. All the fear and worry he'd felt, the emptiness inside him, was gone, replaced by something else, something stronger and deeper. And with the strength he felt flowing in him now, he knew she would be well; with the nightmare over, he could help her. And she would be just fine.

As he took off into the sky, a small bit of snow under the trees shifted and rolled, moving aside to let two feet of evil reconnect quietly in the cold.

_THE END_


	3. Chapter 3 Victory's Dream

_Author's Note: "Victory's Dream" is a one-shot story, but it's also the second movement of the three-part symphony, "Victory Suite." Disclaimer: Of course, I don't have any claim on InuYasha or any of these characters – except in my dreams and nightmares – they are the property of R. Takahashi and shall always remain hers._

**Victory's Dream**

_On the first starlit eve of victory,_

_peace settles on weary souls,_

_soothing wounds and seducing the_

_wise to wish on a deathless path._

_But love grinds the wheel of life again,_

_pulling hope along in the wake of anguish._

_Wishes melt into the heart of truth._

Looking at their broken bodies was like dying with them, and so she looked away, pushing the pain down into darkness.

Naraku had become a flailing storm, blotting out the sky with his slithering, glittering menace swirling around an eternal blackness, drawing them in. As the darkness advanced, Kagome knew that in her next breath, she had the power to send him into his own oblivion forever. Midoriko and Kikyou had already exhausted their spiritual forces and weakened the monster that loomed above her with hatred twisting his features. She took a deep breath and channeled their remaining energy, joining it with her own earthly strength, and together the three mikos drew her bow. She heard InuYasha coming up behind her, but did not wait. Concentrating, forcing all her power into that one single shaft, she let it fly to find its mark in the center of darkness.

The reaction was instantaneous as the black void began to suck in the tendrils of the beast's body surrounding it, turning Naraku in on himself. And that was when she saw it, the jewel, glittering black on black in the nothingness. She could feel that Naraku was too weak to repel a direct attack on the jewel and so she leaped, knowing that she was the one – the only one with the strength of the three mikos together – that could wrest the jewel from its fleshy prison. Falling into the void, reaching for the jewel, concentrating on that one goal, Kagome fought at the shards and tentacles that assaulted her, tearing at her flesh. She would not allow herself to become distracted by them, since her flesh would heal with the jewel in her grasp, but as she entered the nothingness she made herself vulnerable to something unexpected.

Like an explosion in her heart, the pain of watching her friends die screamed up out of darkness, wreathed in bloody agony to surround and assault her. The endless wellspring of her anguish was soon joined by others' suffering as all the horror experienced by Naraku's victims, and his victims' victims came into her, consuming her and driving the darkness into her heart like a stake. As her hand clasped the jewel, flooding her with more misery, she fell to the ground, having failed in her attempt to bring down the evil. Even with the strength and assistance of the other two powerful mikos, he had found her vulnerability and exploited it.

Weakened, half purified and denied his fathomless source of power, Naraku made to attack her, but InuYasha was there, above her in a whirl of crimson. Her last memory was of his face, looking at her with fear in his eyes. He was calling her name but she couldn't hear him.

_I failed. But He's alive. Nothing else matters._

As Kilala touched down outside the old woman's hut, the old miko pushed through the short curtain, concern already etched on her face. Kagome lay unmoving on Kilala's back and Kaede's breath caught in her throat as soon as she saw the girl, bloodied and still.

Sango dropped her hiraikotsu on the ground and handed Shippou to the miko. Heavily, she slid to the ground herself and guided Kilala into the hut, pulling Kagome's cold body down and gently laying her next to the fire. Kilala shrank down with an exhausted mew and curled up by the fire, her little head leaning against Kagome's. Sango heard Kaede come up behind her and turned just in time to see the woman's face blanch white as she looked at Kagome holding the jewel between steepled fingers over her heart. Kaede fell to her knees, laying Shippou gently next to Kilala, and placed her hand on Kagome's chest, just above the jewel. Breathing a deep exhale of relief, she quickly moved to a nearby chest and withdrew a warm blanket. As she tucked it tightly around Kagome's body, she gave instructions to Sango on where to find a woolen fabric, how to wrap it around the heated rocks in the fire, and where to place them under the blanket to help warm Kagome's inert form.

"Will she be alright?" Sango asked, sliding her eyes down to Kagome's face, perfectly still, and oddly peaceful. Kaede closed her eyes, as if she were straining to hear something not meant to be heard.

"She is on a miko journey." There was fear in Kaede's voice.

"A miko journey?" Sango asked, surprised at the implication that anything more than simple physical wounds might be threatening her friend.

"Yes." Kaede removed her hand and placed it softly back in her lap. "She will return a full miko, or," her face pinched, "she will not return to us at all." Her eyes slipped to Sango's waist where the broken pieces of Tetsusaiga were lashed. Sango followed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I have to take Tetsusiaga to Toutousai to be repaired." The woman looked like she was going to drop from exhaustion where she stood, but she also looked fearful and determined.

The sunlight was stunning, spattering through the gold, yellow and red-orange leaves in the glade, captivating Kagome's attention with glowing warmth that spread through her, body and soul. She felt the sun on her face, felt the clear, crisp autumn breeze on her cheeks and smelled the rich, loamy scents of the earth underneath her. She heard water and glanced around to see a small waterfall pooling into a little pond, pushing impossibly clear water up against a tiny beach.

Laying back on the grass and stretching luxuriously, she let the most heart-warming thought come to her again, just as it had continuously been streaming through her mind ever since she could remember. _He is alive. Nothing else matters._

She'd been so afraid for Him, for all of them. The battle had been horrible, bloody and heart-wrenching. And now it was over and she had a feeling of well-being she hadn't experienced in so long, she wasn't even sure she had ever felt it before. No pressure. No need. No desires. No time constraints. She felt peaceful and at one with everything. Closing her eyes, she thought she could almost melt into the hillside, merge with the sun and become one of the bright leaves dancing in the breeze. For fun, she imagined what that might feel like and giggled as she felt her body sway on gentle waves of air. Being a leaf was fun. The smile on her face felt good and she kept it there as she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Maybe she would sleep.

Before she could fade away, she heard a sound and opened her eyes to find five figures sitting across from her, their backs to the waterfall. Sitting up she smiled at the beaming faces of Kikyou, Kouga, Kohaku and Naraku and Midoriko. It felt as though the six of them just sat together forever, basking in the quietude and solace of the glade. It was Kikyou that spoke first.

"Welcome, Kagome," Kikyou's voice was soft and warm, infused with love.

Kagome knew that she was not required to respond, and so she didn't. She just continued to smile. They sat for a long time, comfortable in silence. After a while, a thought occurred to her and she voiced it, even as her heart told her the answer didn't matter.

"The battle is over, right?" She laughed at her own questions. "We won, didn't we?"

"You achieved your goal," it was Naraku that spoke, "and we are here." His handsome face was full of love and joy. Some part of her recognized how odd this seemed, but the feelings coming off him were genuine and she basked in them like the sunlight on her skin.

Midoriko's face bloomed in a beatific smile.

"You can stay here as long as you need to. Rest and heal." Kohaku.

A small nag in the back of her mind at these words got lost as she looked at the love beaming from Kouga's eyes. This was not something she'd ever seen in him before. She remembered affection and caring, but never these waves of love and acceptance flowing between them. He did not speak. He did not have to. She closed her eyes and enjoyed it all, their smiles, their love, the sun. After so much pain, the love felt wonderful, filling her again, sustaining her. She kept her eyes closed for a very long time.

Kaede slept fitfully the first night, tending to Kagome's body and doing what she could to pray strength into the girl for her spirit journey. The older miko knew that Kagome was very strong and very powerful. But she was also young and untrained, and her body was badly injured. Kaede was very tired and she also needed energy to keep Shippou occupied and busy. The little kitsune was so upset that when he was still, he quivered and shook, unconsciously channeling his worries into action. Kaede had put him in charge of water, collecting it, warming it and removing it once dirtied. The activity seemed to help Shippou, but the continuous instructions to him, as well as the constant praying were beginning to tire the older woman. Despite her fatigue, Kaede woke constantly in the night to tend the girl as best she could.

The next day was even harder, Shippou had become morose and Kaede could tell he was slipping into depression. She had her hands full caring for her own needs and Kagome. At one point, she sent Shippou out to collect some roots from the storage shed on his way to the well, which left her alone with Kagome. After changing her bandages again and praying for her, she sat and tried to look at the young woman's face, but she could not take her eyes off the jewel. Complete again, as she had not seen it in over fifty years, Kaede could not ignore the omen in the way Kagome held it – in the exact position that Kikyou had held the jewel on her funeral pyre. As she stared at it, its purple opalescence made Kaede long to touch it. The omen and the beauty came together in her and she decided to try to reposition Kagome's hands so that the omen could be banished. As her hands touched lightly on Kagome's fingers, pushing against each other over the glowing ball of temptation and power, Kaede felt a distinct shock jump from Kagome's fingers to hers and she jerked away. Clearly, the omen intended to stay. Kaede did not touch Kagome's hands again and her worry grew.

The day passed very slowly. Just as dusk was settling on the cold land outside, Kaede and Shippou heard a familiar roar on the wind and Sango entered the hut moments later, Kilala in her arms. Sango looked even more exhausted than she had before and as she entered, she came to stand before Kaede.

"Toutousai said I should give the sword to you or Kagome before taking it to InuYasha." Sango looked tensely at Kagome. "What should I do?"

Kaede put a hand out and made to touch Tetsusaiga's sheath, but before her fingers made contact, she felt a resistance, a slight push, and she withdrew. "Lay it on Kagome," she instructed.

Sango knelt to rest the sword lengthwise on Kagome's still form. For reasons she didn't fully understand, she laid the hilt across Kagome's fingers which were protecting the jewel. Immediately, Kagome's eyes opened, unseeing, but bright. Both older women leaned forward to look into them and were disturbed at how unfocused they were.

"Kagome," Kaede said, and was not surprised when the girl didn't respond. No matter how softly or harshly they said her name, the girl would not answer. They both gasped when a very slight light began to grow in the jewel, glowing towards Tetsusaiga. Hoping this was a sign, they continued to call her name, but again she did not respond.

"What's wrong with her?" Sango looked at Kaede, worry ringing clear in her voice.

"She is still on her miko journey," Kaede did not take her eyes from Kagome's face, "but there is something else. She and the jewel are connected."

"What does that mean?" Sango sounded distressed.

"I do not know." Kaede had no comfort to give her.

After some time, Kagome opened her eyes again and the question that had been trying to come forth emerged. "Where is He?"

They all continued to smile at her, but did not say anything. For the first time, she felt a small bit of worry. "He's still alive, isn't he?"

"He lives." Kikyou.

"Why isn't He here with us?" Kagome was still enjoying herself, and she was pleased that He still lived. Her mind put some things together. "Oh! But you were dead. Does this mean that I'm dead too?" Strangely this thought did not bother her, but struck her as a curiosity. The fact that He was not here to enjoy this beauty and peace did bother her though. It was the one thing that didn't feel absolutely wonderful.

"You live as well." Kouga.

"Where are we?" Somehow she knew the answer to her question would not be helpful and she was right.

"Everwhere. Nowhere." Naraku.

"Can I bring Him here to be with us?" Kagome wasn't sure she wanted this, but she was curious.

"He can only bring himself." Kohaku.

Suddenly, an unbidden image came to Kagome, swimming into her mind, an image of Him lying in the snow, freezing, injured… vulnerable. He was not alone in the danger. She felt a shadow of something familiar. It felt like… fear, and it did not belong in this place.

Just as the early morning sunlight began to dim the chilled air, Kagome spoke, waking them all instantly.

"Take Tetsusaiga to InuYasha," her voice was flat, emotionless. As they approached her, they noticed that the glow from the jewel had increased in the night and its light was reflecting off the sword's sheath. "The evil is not gone."

"I will." Sango said. "Kagome, are they alright? Is Miroku-" she swallowed, "still alive?" The girl did not respond. They continued talking to her, but she remained silent.

"She's in some kind of trance," Sango said, readying her things.

"No," Kaede said, brushing the backs of her fingers on Kagome's hair. "It is not a trance." She looked worried. "She is in another place entirely."

Sango didn't understand these words, and as she came to lift the sword, Kagome spoke again.

"Bring me the drink."

Sango looked confused until Kaede came to take the flask of medicinal drink she had prepared for Miroku and knelt to touch it gently to Kagome's hand. The jewel glowed more brightly for a moment and then died back to its previous shine.

Kaede handed it back to Sango with a smile. "This is good," she said and immediately Sango felt better, stronger, seeing a new confidence in Kaede's eyes. Slowly she lifted the sword, but as Tetsusaiga moved further away, the glow of the jewel waned even more and Sango and Kaede looked at each other with renewed concern.

"Hurry," Kaede said tensely, her confidence disappearing, and then Sango was gone again, Kilala at her heels.

Shippou had hung back and now came forward to curl against Kagome's side.

"Kaede," he whined, "I'm scared." Kaede just patted his head, gently, refusing to give false hope.

"Will He be alright?" Kagome still felt good, but the fear for Him would not go away, and suddenly she remembered that she'd had the jewel. Could she make a wish? Would that help Him? Touching for the chain at her neck, feeling in her pockets and patting the ground near her, she couldn't find it.

"Where is the jewel?" She looked at Naraku, something telling her that he might know where it was.

"Here." All five of her companions held out their hands, even though Midoriko still did not speak, and each one had a shining _Shikon no Tama_ blazing in his or her palm.

"What?" Kagome felt curiosity, but no agitation, though part of her felt she _should _ be upset. "But there was only one before."

"There are many." Naraku.

"Which one of those is mine?"

"None." Kouga.

"Where is the one I had?" Kagome.

"Open your hand." Kikyou.

Kagome looked down at the hand resting in her lap and uncurled her fingers, eyes widening at the glowing purple-pink light that shone back at her. "Oh!" She stared at it for some time, beginning to remember things. Remembering that there was only one jewel where she'd been before. Remembering that the jewel had been in her body once, and then had been taken from her and that she had cursed the land with it. Then she had failed in using her miko powers but had gotten it back and it was hers again. She looked at everyone else's jewel then. A new recognition came to her.

"This place, this isn't my home, is it?"

"This is everyone's home." Naraku.

"But I …," Kagome understood, "I can't be _alive_ here, can I?"

"You can be here, but you cannot be alive here, yes." Kohaku.

Kagome looked around at the wondrous landscape, the beauty, and realized it was now part of her. She could not be separated from it without enduring great pain. And suddenly, she wanted this place for everyone, everyone she loved and everyone else, too. If they could be here, then there would be no more war, or upset or unhappiness. No one could be unhappy here. Looking down at the jewel again, she asked, "Can I bring this place back with me? Can I make that my wish?"

"You may." Kouga.

Kagome felt a moment of hope.

"But if you do that, you will stop time." Kikyou. "There will be no more death. And there will be no more life."

Kagome did not breathe.

"When you are here, do you want anything?" Naraku.

"Food? Water? Sleep? Companionship?" Kohaku.

Kagome thought about these questions and asked herself if any of these things seemed necessary. She had to admit that they did not. She wanted Him to be well, but she knew that if she knew He was well, she could be here without even Him. She shook her head.

"This place holds no desire." Kouga

"Things here do not change." Kikyou.

"They do not grow." Naraku.

"They do not die." Kohaku

"They simply are." Kikyou.

"Can you do that to the earth?" Naraku.

Kagome shook her head, until another thought occurred to her.

"I can go back!" But she did not want to leave this place.

"You may." Naraku.

"And everything will be like it was before." Kagome said, realizing that was impossible.

"Nothing is ever the same." Kouga.

"You have the jewel now." Kohaku.

"You will live Kikyou's fate." Kikyou.

"What?"

"Living beings will be drawn to the jewel." Kouga.

"They will ask you to use it." Naraku.

"You will be tempted to use it." Kohaku

"If you use it, you will abuse it." Kikyou.

"No I won't."

"If you use it to feed the poor in times of famine, whose plate will you steal from? Kohaku.

"In times of abundance, will feeding them help them learn to feed themselves?" Kouga.

"If you heal the dying, how will you know they were not meant to pass on to the next life?" Naraku.

"You may heal their bodies anyway and watch them die inside." Kikyou.

This was not fair! She felt so happy here. So at peace. All she wanted was for everyone to feel this peace. Was that so much to ask? After all they'd gone through to get the jewel back! Was there no way to use it?

"What about my wish?"

"You may wish." Kohaku.

"Can I wish for Him to turn human? Or Youkai?"

"You may." Naraku.

"But for him to accept it, not grow to hate you for it, it must be his wish." Kouga.

"How can you know his heart's true wish?" Kikyou.

Kagome thought about that. How could she ever be completely sure of another's true desire? Sometimes it was hard to even understand what _she_ really wanted. Could she ever presume to know another's heart more clearly than her own? Could she take that risk when wielding such power? She was beginning to understand the reasons not to wish on the jewel. The thought of not knowing when to use it, being constantly pursued, badgered to use it without fully understanding the consequences, bullied and threatened, this was not a life she wanted. But they said she had no choice.

"Can I go back, but leave the jewel here?"

"It is part of you." Naraku.

Looking around her again, she sighed and felt the warmth of the sunlight soak into her skin again. Her heart spoke.

"Can I stay here with you?"

"Yes."

InuYasha rode Kilala with joy in his heart. The day and the night after the battle had been horrible, his senses had been badly damaged by the concussion and he had not been able to see or smell well. Plagued by terrible nightmares, he'd had to overcome not only them, but some remaining pieces of Naraku that hunted them down and preyed on them in the dark. Sick with worry for Kagome and Miroku, still sad in Kikyou's death and vulnerable to his inner youkai without Tetsusaiga, he had to admit that the last two days had been the worst in his life. But Kagome was alive! She'd blessed the Tetsusaiga and Miroku's medicine. He was going to see her and help her heal. Sango had been worried for Kagome when she arrived to give him Tetsusaiga, but she hadn't been able to feel Kagome's blessing through the sword like he had when he touched it. He felt her, knew she had sent him her strength, knew she was waiting for him.

The village came into sight and he almost leapt from high in the air, barely able to wait for Kilala to descend. Bounding into Kaede's hut, he was brought up short by the sight of Kaede and Shippou kneeling at Kagome's side, both upset. He could smell the fear in them. Kagome lay unmoving, pale and barely breathing. He smelled the blood still on her and the fear he'd recently pushed away flooded through him again in an instant. Moving to Shippou, he scooted the little kitsune aside and leaned over Kagome.

"Kaede," he said, "what's wrong with her?" The old woman lifted her face to him, her eyes red with tears and lack of sleep.

"InuYasha," she blinked as though seeing that it was really him. "Kagome is on a miko journey. She is in the land of the spirit."

InuYasha knit his eyebrows together, not fully understanding what she was saying. "So?"

"She must decide whether to stay there or come back to us," Kaede closed her eyes.

"Can't you do anything for her?" InuYasha began to feel anger. "Give her some medicine? Can I go back to her time and bring medicine for her?"

"No." Kaede looked sad. "Her wounds are not keeping her from us, InuYasha. It is her choice."

"Her _choice_?" He roared, awash with anger now. Shippou and Kaede both were taken aback by the power of his voice after two days of virtual silence. "After all we've gone through to the get here?" He stood suddenly, causing both Kaede and Shippou to pull away, but Kagome remained unmoving. He looked down at her, feeling the anger whirl around him and realizing just as suddenly that all the anger in the world would not bring her back. With this thought, an icy vortex of fear spiraled down into his heart like a knife, bringing him back to his knees. He felt completely helpless again.

"It's not her choice," he pleaded to no one in particular as he settled back down next to her. His face softened and he reached his hand to Kagome, covering both her hands and the jewel beneath it. Kaede watched this carefully, wondering if he would be repelled as she had been, but nothing happened. His hand held Kagome's and he stared at her face, with an anguished whisper he said, "Kagome. No. Don't do this."

At his words, the girl's eyes opened again. Staring ahead. InuYasha was on his knees, a smile on his lips. "See?" He sounded confident. "I knew it!"

"But she did this before!" Shippou was crying. "She didn't know any of us. She just stared. It was almost like she was dead." InuYasha and Kaede ignored the kit.

"Kagome!" InuYasha looked into her eyes. "Kagome! It's me, I'm here. Please wake up," he was pleading again.

Her eyes shifted towards the sound of his voice, but did not focus on him. He was both encouraged and unnerved. "Kagome!"

"InuYasha." Her voice was weak, devoid of feeling, a statement of fact.

"Yes!" A spontaneous smile broke on his face. "Kagome, you're okay."

Her eyes shifted away from him and closed, her face impassive. He continued to call her name until night fell, but she did not move or speak. His heart grew heavy once again.

Kagome felt the sound of her name vibrate in her bones. Her name. His voice. He was with her. She looked around but it was still just the six of them. "InuYasha." She said the name, remembering. He was there. If she went back, she could be with him. She looked at the jewel in her hand. If she went back, she would have to take the jewel with her. There would be more death, more pain. Looking around the glade again, she felt true sadness for the first time since coming here. Why couldn't it always be like it was here? Why did the horror have to continue? Why did the living have to die?

"Is there no way I can use the jewel to bring peace and happiness?"

"You may use the jewel to ensure that souls may grow." Kohaku.

"What does that mean?"

"If you wish for a soul's growth, the best outcome will occur." Naraku.

"Does that mean I can wish for them not to die?"

"You may wish for a soul's growth." Kikyou.

"Is it possible for a soul to grow by dying?"

"Yes." Kikyou.

"Is it possible for a soul to grow by being in pain?"

"Yes." Kouga.

"Losing a child?"

"Yes." Kohaku.

"Hating?"

"Yes." Naraku.

Kagome felt upset. The feeling did not belong in this place. It made her angry.

"Then what's the point?"

"What do you want?" Kikyou.

Kagome stopped and thought. She wanted peace. Like she felt here, she wanted it to be like this always, for everyone. And - a strong thought came to her - she also wanted to be with InuYasha. But she couldn't have him and have the peace of this place. She would be pursued. She would be in a place where death, sickness and pain were _necessary_.

"Are you saying that I should use the jewel to cause pain and suffering?"

"No." Naraku.

"You have a miko soul and causing suffering will not help _your_ soul to grow." Kikyou.

"I failed at being a miko."

"That test is not yet finished." Midoriko spoke for the first time. Kagome looked at her, beautiful and sad. The ancient miko smiled.

"You mean I can still become a miko?"

"It is your only path forward." Kohaku.

"What if don't want to be a miko?"

"It is your only path forward." Kikyou.

"I don't understand. If I shouldn't save them from death, save them from unbearable pains, then how can I be a miko and help them?"

"Do you want to help them?" Naraku.

"Yes! But you said I couldn't help anyone!" She was feeling frustrated.

"You can help them." Kouga.

"How? You said that they need pain to grow, but that I shouldn't cause them pain. And I shouldn't heal them or give them food when they are hungry. I don't understand. How do I help them?"

"They will grow through pain; just like you will grow through pain. But they grow more fully when their pain is soothed so that it does not overwhelm them and they can come to understand it. That is how they grow." Naraku.

"Do you wish to help them?" Kikyou.

Kagome was quiet, trying to absorb their words. It was beginning to make sense, but she was horrified when she thought about what it could mean.

"You mean, I can help them by watching them encounter suffering, and even death, and soothing their pain along the way?"

"Yes." Naraku.

"You have the power to heal their spirits, take some of their pain into you, leaving them only what they need to grow. Sometimes you can heal their bodies, but not always." Kouga.

"But…" memories came to her and when she looked at Kouga, tears came into her eyes, "when I watched you die, I thought I was going to die too." The tears spilled down her cheeks. "And, Kohaku, when you died, I held Sango until I couldn't hold her anymore, and I felt her pain and it was like I died, too."

"Yes." Kohaku.

Tears continued to fall down her cheeks, the pain was twisting inside her, squeezing her, killing her. Suddenly, a door opened in her heart and she felt as though all the world's suffering was flowing into her. She'd felt this before. It had defeated her.

"It hurts."

"Kagome." Kikyou.

"Look around you." Naraku.

"Feel the love of this place." Kohaku.

"Let the pain go." Kouga.

With these words, she felt another opening inside her, allowing the horrible twisted agony collecting in her to leave and disperse. At the same time, she felt abundant love flow into her and back to the sources of pain. Soon she was little more than a conduit for the suffering and sorrow, through her, matched only by the return flow of love.

"As long as you remember this place…" Kohaku.

"Keep the doors open…" Kikyou.

"Continue to let the pain go…" Kouga.

"The peace will come to you, and through you to others." Naraku.

"I don't know if I can die that many times. I don't know if I can be that strong." Kagome lifted her hands to her chest, trying to breathe deeply. It still hurt, but it was better.

"With love in your heart…" Kohaku.

"You can be that strong…" Kouga.

"Because love never dies…" Naraku.

"That is what a miko does." Kikyou.

Midoriko beamed at her.

InuYasha's head lay on Kagome's stomach, his hand over hers and the jewel. He listened to the sounds of her body, her shallow breath, her weak heartbeat, the little noises of her organs. As long as there was sound, he had hope. She'd sent him her blessing. He had to believe she would come back.

Kaede and Shippou had both gone to the other side of the hut and were asleep, leaving her in his care. He rose every hour as Kaede had instructed him, squeezing small amounts of water from a cloth into her mouth, checking her wounds and changing the bandages. And then he would talk to her. But nothing happened. She hadn't opened her eyes again or spoken his name. He felt sick, but he kept hoping.

At one point in the early hours of the morning, he went through this routine and sat to look at her again. He looked at the jewel under his hands as they held hers, the thing that had started the tragedy that had consumed his life for what seemed like an eternity. He'd been a sorry excuse for a human and a sorry excuse for a youkai until he'd first gotten wind of the potential to change that by using the jewel. And ever since he'd begun trying to get it, use it to become something that could find a place in the world, he'd felt nothing but deep love and horrible tragedy. Suddenly, he felt like grabbing the thing out of her hands and throwing it as far away as he could. But he knew that would only start the whole stupid cycle over again. Couldn't they just walk away from it? Leave it to others? He'd finally found the place he belonged and it was fading away before his eyes. The sadness pressed down on him like a smothering blanket and he could hardly breathe.

"Kagome," he said, feeling like he needed to speak to get breath into his lungs, "please come back. I need you. I want you." _I love you._ He couldn't say those words, because his breath had left him completely, bringing on the unfamiliar sting of tears in his eyes. Feeling completely defenseless, he allowed the thoughts to come through him like a prayer. _I don't want anything else but you. I don't want the jewel. I don't want to be anything else. I just want to be with you. Please. Come back to me so I can love you. Let me be strong for you. Please._

He laid his head down on her again, listening. For a moment, he thought her body was silent and panic began to rise in him, and then he heard her take a deeper breath, heard her heartbeat again, as though it had stopped and then started again with greater speed. He rose up to look at her face and found her eyes open.

"Kagome?" He whispered, daring to believe. Her eyes shifted to his and he thought he saw them focus on him in the dark. "Kagome, can you hear me?"

"InuYasha." He could have sworn he heard recognition in her voice this time and his heart leapt.

"It's me," he raised a hand to her cheek. "Please come back. Don't leave me."

"InuYasha." He had been right, she did recognize him, but she sounded very weak and still seemed very distant. "I hurt." His heart ached for her at these words. "I don't think I am strong enough for this much pain."

"Yes you are," he said quietly, not sure if he was saying the right thing or just the selfish thing. "Should I get Kaede?" He began to rise.

"No." She said definitively. "The pain is inside me. In my heart." InuYasha felt a tear fall onto his fingers, still stroking her face. "I don't know if I have enough love to bear the pain."

"Yes you do." Now he had confidence in his answer, even if he didn't completely understand the question. If there was one thing he knew about Kagome, it was that she had more love in her heart than anyone he'd ever met. But he realized that if she suffered so much that it strained even her capacity for love, the pain must be unbearable. Suddenly, his heart spoke through his mouth, completely bypassing his brain. "And if you run out, you have my love to help you." Surprised at himself, he stopped talking. Her eyes turned to look at him then, and he knew she saw him. His words just kept coming, flowing from somewhere deep, dark and alive in him. "I love you, Kagome. Please come back and let me love you. Let me be strong for you."

She blinked and he felt her chest rise under his hand, taking a deep breath. She kept breathing and he dared to hope.

"I need you, InuYasha." He squeezed her hand. "I need you to help me in all that I have to do."

"I'm not going anywhere."

He felt a shift under his hand and lifted it to see the jewel glowing brightly between her fingers. He became worried, wondering if the jewel was trying to do something on its own, or responding to someone else's manipulation. He perked his ears and sniffed, trying to detect any creature that might be close enough to reach the jewel. He sensed nothing.

"Kagome?" Could she be reaching out to the jewel? Looking at her, he saw that her eyes were far away again and he became agitated and then amazed as he saw the hard stone between her fingers begin to sink, falling right into her heart, subsuming itself into her body until its gleam disappeared into the her and it was gone. Looking at her face, he saw her eyes blink and focus on him, a slight smile tugging at her lips.

"Did you make a wish?" he asked, amazed at what he had just seen.

"Yes." She said weakly.

"What did you wish for?" He asked, hoping.

"To be with you."

His heart lifted and a true smile shone on his face, washing the fear away yet again and flooding them both with strength. He held her hand and soothed her until the sun broke the low lying clouds of dawn.

Kaede made a nourishing broth and InuYasha helped Kagome sip it. Her body was still very weak, but her spirit was very much present in it and Kaede and Shippou couldn't stop smiling and laughing. Kagome had not spoken much since awaking, but she smiled at them and let Shippou curl up on her lap. She didn't seem to want to talk about much, and there was a sadness about her that they all sensed. She slept deeply until midday, when she awoke feeling stronger. Her wounds had healed a great deal since she'd first come to Kaede's, but she wasn't strong enough to walk yet.

"This is great!" Shippou bounced up and down until InuYasha had to plant a hand on his head to keep him still. "Everyone's okay, now, right? No one else is going to die!"

The adults looked at each other over his head, and Kagome picked him up. "Everyone dies someday, Shippou." The little kit looked sad.

"I know." he said. "I just hoped."

"Dying is hardest for those of us left behind." Kagome said. "The dead go on, but they wait for us."

"They do?" Shippou asked.

"Yes, they do." Kagome spoke with a confidence that InuYasha found slightly disconcerting, but he decided not to ask.

Shippou looked up at her and put his little paw on her hand which was wrapped around his waist. "Why are you so sad?" He asked her. She looked a little surprised at his question.

"Because I know that InuYasha and I have to leave tomorrow morning." She patted his head. "We have something important to do."

"Can I come?" Shippou asked.

"No." Kagome stroked his fur. "But I promise we'll come back." She looked at InuYasha, who asked her a question with his eyes that she didn't answer.

That night, when everyone was asleep, InuYasha lay next to Kagome, holding her hand and wondering at her words. He was so happy to have her back, but she was different. She was still his Kagome, but the sadness that Shippou felt in her, he did too. He didn't understand it, but he would talk to her about it later, when they were alone.

He felt her stir and lifted himself up on an elbow to look at her. Her eyes were open and he saw another tear drip down her cheek, flashing orange in the firelight. His heart broke and he lifted his hand to brush it away.

"Kagome, what's wrong?" He whispered.

"InuYasha," her voice was strained. "I hear them. All of them. They all hurt."

"It's okay," he didn't know what to say to her that could make her feel better so he continued to hold her face in his hand, stroking her cheek. "I'm here."

"I know." He felt her smile in the dark.

He didn't really understand most of what she'd said since she'd awakened, but he knew she needed him to be strong for her, and so he was.

"Thank you, InuYasha."

_THE END_


	4. Chapter 4 Victory's Reward

_Author's Note: "Victory's Reward" is a one-shot story, but it's also the third and final movement of the three-part symphony, "Victory Suite." Disclaimer: Of course, I don't have any claim on InuYasha or any of these characters – except in my dreams and nightmares – they are the property of R. Takahashi and shall always remain hers._

**Victory's Reward**

_Daylight shines on victory's aftermath,_

_the death and the life laid bare._

_Memory, heartache and hope call_

_the courageous to turn the wheel_

_of fate. Crushed beneath its rim, they weep._

_Finding faith in endless cycles, they believe_

_love will bear the pain of sacrifice._

The adrenaline was finally starting to subside, leaving behind a deep, aching exhaustion. Sango kept her eyes straight ahead, her mind efficiently clicking through the things that needed to be done, playing with the order in which she should do them to ensure that everyone left survived. One hand burrowed into Kilala's fur, warm and alive at her side, while the other moved lightly over Kagome's still back as she lay on the youkai beast that carried them with such speed. Unconscious, Kagome lay face down, the completed jewel tucked to her heart and her hips cradled into Sango's lap, their open legs draped together down Kilala's sides as they flew furiously towards the village. Shippou clung to Kagome, snuggled up against Sango, and slept. He'd hidden through most of the battle and she'd found him under a tree limb, in shock after having witnessed the carnage and near slaughter of his surrogate family.

Sango moved her hand from where she selfishly stroked her good friend to rest on Shippou's little head. What was she playing at, attempting to soothe Kagome's wounds? It was only an effort to calm her own worries; for all she knew, her touch hurt Kagome more than it helped. Kagome did not move, as though it did not matter.

Focusing on Kagome had been a mistake. Watching her unmoving form, dwelling on the futility of a soft touch to heal the horrible wounds dripping from her body, and probably her soul, Sango felt a tentative wave of darkness push up from somewhere hidden. Brief images of Kouga and Kikyou, slashed upon the frozen ground at Naraku's feet, came forward and Sango pushed them away, staring into the cold wind that streamed past her as they raced. She could not look back, she must look forward. Her friends needed her, Kagome so still under her hand, InuYasha so uneasy struggling through the symptoms of a nasty concussion, and… Miroku. A sob came up, and for a second time she pushed it away, only losing the battle of a single tiny tear. The image of Miroku's limp, shouki-stained body swam down her cheek, looking just as she'd found it after InuYasha and Kagome had finished off Naraku and the shouki mist had begun to clear. Another battle was lost when one more tear squeezed out with the reflection of her houshi, still unconscious and breathing raggedly, in InuYasha's arms as Kilala's ascent took them away, his kazaana hand still tightly wrapped in its protection against the purple stain that remained there. _InuYasha, take care of him for me. _How she wished InuYasha's balance had been less effected by his injuries and he'd been the one to fly with Kagome, allowing Sango to stay behind… with… both of them. Three times, now, she pushed away the swelling darkness as it began to assault her.

Kilala spied it first, the bend in the stream as it became a river flowing down towards their route back to Kaede's village. Thankful for a task again, Sango began to glance around for flying youkai, any of Naraku's leftovers that might be tracking them or hunting them. She hitched her hiraikotsu up, relieving its weight off her shoulder. As Kilala made the turn, and fully began her decent off the mountain, the air began to warm and Sango smelled signs of life in the earth again, the heavy brown scents of early winter and late autumn death as it rotted away in the valley. This was somewhat comforting; it meant she was that much closer to completing her first task and delivering Kagome into Kaede's care.

She shifted the broken pieces of Tetsusaiga in her belt, and began to contemplate her second task. Kilala knew the way to Toutousai's lair, but if the swordsmith was traveling, she would have to decide on a search pattern, looking through his things for a clue as to where he'd gone. And she'd have to decide how long to look before returning without being able to fix InuYasha's sword, which they needed to finish cleaning up the mess on the battlefield and ensure that Naraku was gone for good.

The village was in sight, and she began to rehearse her plans for when they arrived, efficiently relating the news, grabbing some food and heading out as quickly as she could to Toutousai. It never occurred to her that Kaede would ask questions.

Once Sango and Kaede had laid Kagome by the fire and Kaede had done what she could for the girl, the old woman turned to look at Sango with piercing eyes.

"And the others?" Kaede's voice was so tight Sango could barely hear it.

Slowly and painfully, struggling to hold the fresh wounds closed, she related her news, just as rehearsed. When she was done, Sango sat, staring at the fire, utterly exhausted. She moved her eyes to where Kaede placed a gentle hand on Kagome's forehead, and she couldn't help but notice the worry knitting the old woman's brow as her eyes rested on the broken pieces of InuYasha's sword still lashed to Sango's hip.

Silence was thick in the air, the full weight of their worry settling upon them. Finally, Sango filled her lungs with effort and stood, hands on her hips, her next task looming before her.

"Kaede," her voice was strong in her ears, "I need to get Tetsusaiga repaired. May I have some food for the journey?"

"Of course." Kaede rose to gather some simple rations and wrap them in a deep blue cloth. Handing the packet to Sango, she let her fingers trail lightly on Tetsusaiga's dulled blade and looked up into Sango's eyes. "Please make sure you return here once the sword is fixed." Her request held weight and Sango nodded reluctantly. She moved past the miko and knelt to touch Kagome's cheek. Not daring to let words escape her, she scooped up Kilala and moved on to the door. Just as she reached the threshold, Kaede's question stopped her, probing the freshest wound

"Sango," feeling trembled deeply in her voice, "what of Kohaku?"

Sango didn't move. She didn't turn. She couldn't. She was frozen in time again, as she had been when she'd first seen his still form, the cruel gash in his back, the shock in his glassy eyes, the odd angle at which his limbs were splayed underneath his body. Just as it she couldn't breathe then, she couldn't breathe now.

Some mechanism in her brain took over, probably a mere bodily defense, and she felt the threatening chaos recede, a cool mental clarity taking its place. Filling her lungs with a deep inhalation, she turned to Kaede and did her best to move her features back into their mask. "He's dead."

She was out the door and gone, flying away as fast as she could.

The next day was like a blur. They had found Toutousai easily, sparing Sango the decisions she had earlier feared. But then he gave her new worries as he fretted over how to repair the hanyou's weapon without a fresh fang from InuYasha himself. But then, understanding the desperation of the situation, he came upon a "new" solution. His "experiment" worried Sango as well, hoping it wouldn't add unnecessary time to her errand, although there was nothing to be done about it. The old man had left Sango alone while he worked and she sat on the edge of the lava field surrounding his lair, stroking Kilala's fur, trying desperately not to think about Kohaku by worrying over Miroku. The sulfuric fumes wafting out from the volcanic ground made her feel even more ill than the festering wounds on her soul.

Finally, he had finished and she hurried back to Kaede's, following Toutousai's instructions to have the sword blessed by one of the mikos. She was not happy about the side trip, aching to return to Miroku, but Kaede insisted she stay until the next morning as night had fallen by the time Kagome had blessed the Tetsusaiga, only becoming conscious long enough to give them hope.

"But what if they need me?" Sango was very agitated. "What if they're freezing to death?" Sango stood near the door, looking as though she was about to run out into the dark.

"Kagome needs you too." Kaede looked at the unconscious girl. "She needs more time with the Tetsusaiga. It is giving her strength and she is giving it power. Both are necessary for Kagome to return to us a full miko, capable of vanquishing the next monstrous evil you encounter." She saw the look of anguish on Sango's face. The young woman had barely heard her. "You said that InuYasha was with Miroku, didn't you?" Kaede tried to sound comforting.

"Yes, but they're both injured." Sango was beginning to get exicted, her nerves easily frayed. "InuYasha was hit on the head pretty hard and he couldn't see or smell right when I left yesterday. I've never seen him so unsteady. I'm worried that he can't help Miroku well enough."

"Hmph. InuYasha will be fine," Kaede said, looking in her miko storage chest. "Tell me about Miroku's injuries."

"He took in too much shouki in the battle. He-" she stopped, dropping to her knees and lowered her face into her hands, "he wouldn't close his kazaana, even when we all screamed at him." Her breath was raw in her throat. "I was hoping that Kagome could heal him… like Kikyou did." She lifted her face to Kaede, no tears, but fear streamed from her. "Kaede, what will I do if…" she looked at Kagome's still form, "if Kagome can't heal him?"

Kaede pulled something dark from her box, and a small bag.

"Shouki is dangerous," she said to honor Sango's fears. Rising, Kaede made her way back to the fire, "I am not my sister, or Kagome," she knelt slowly, "but maybe I can help." She opened a gourd container and a horrible scent swept into the room and set Sango's stomach roiling almost as badly as the volcanic mist at Toutousai's. The old woman set about preparing a mixture and soon she handed Sango a mortar and pestle with some dark herbs in the bowl. "You should grind these."

"Why? I'm not a miko." Sango arched her eyebrows in surprise as she recoiled from the newest stench.

"True," Kaede smiled at her with wise eyes, "but you love him," she smiled wider as Sango blushed," and love is a miko's secret power. Just think about your love for him while you grind the herbs and it will help him." _And it will help you,_ she thought to herself.

They worked in silence for some time and then Kaede put the mixture near the fire to heat, removing another small pot and pouring a thick tea for Sango. Bringing it to her with a small amount of food, she said, "Eat and drink this, and then you will sleep well tonight. They will need your strength, and so you must be strong."

Sango gritted her teeth. _Be strong._

Despite the pain of his injuries, Miroku had a feeling of well-being he couldn't remember having felt ever in his life. Sango lay next to him with her head in his lap, asleep. He rested his head against the rocky wall to look at the crackling fire and the beautiful snow drifts just outside the tall mouth of the cave. It was chilly, but the late night air was still; there were, only a few snowflakes drifting down from the clouds which had released most of their burden in the days beforehand. The world slept with Sango and he felt privileged to watch them both, letting the happiness roll into him over and over again. _My kazaana - my curse - is gone_. There were other worries rolling in too, but just for now, he'd enjoy this little bit of goodness.

The last two days were something of a nightmare to him. He remembered sucking in one of Naraku's appendages just as it was about to attack Kohaku, the shouki mist disappearing along with the noxious flesh as it came into his hand. As it had so many times before, the pain had attacked him from the inside, exploding pressure into his head that ruptured the blood vessels of his eyes and nose. The poison had leaked into his blood – which had become black with Naraku's venom – and onto his skin. He'd expected the final battle to come to the decision point, and he was prepared. Thanking the gods, including the kami of his boyhood home, he had resolved to keep his kazaana open as long as he could. He remembered screaming to Sango and Kohaku to stay away as he struggled advance on Naraku, intending to destroy him with the final blast as his body turned on itself, leaving nothing but a crater in the ground.

But Naraku had discerned his plan and reached a particularly long tentacle around behind him, puncturing his hip with it and pouring pure shouki, thick and black, into his body. His last clear memory was of InuYasha closing his hand and wrapping the beads around his wrist. He'd failed yet again to kill Naraku, leaving the beast to attack his friends and his beloved. Miroku closed his eyes as he reflected on the feelings of shame and anger that he had felt as he blacked out then, hating the fact that he was going to die without vindicating his father and grandfather, without even enabling his family to continue the battle. And Sango… at that moment, he'd regretted nothing more than failing to protect her. He shuddered a little with the memory, hoping he never had to experience such despair again.

After that, he had fuzzy images of InuYasha trying to keep him from freezing to death. Chilling and hazy memories came to him of the hanyou fighting a noxious leftover from Naraku's corpse that prayed on their fears. Though still vague with pain, he remembered clearly when the thing claimed it had killed Sango after the battle was over. He'd been filled with utter despair at those words, thinking he'd lost her again. When InuYasha had finally managed to destroy it, using the Tetsusaiga with Kagome's blessing, Miroku's kazaana had disappeared for good.

He shook off a chill and pulled the blankets more closely around his shoulders and up Sango's hips. Smiling, he placed a hand gently on her rear, watching to see if she awoke, wondering what she would do. Her eyes did not open and he breathed a contented sigh, keeping his hand there and enjoying the thought that perhaps he'd earned the right for it to stay. When she'd arrived, alive and well, to give him a medicinal drink made by Kaede and blessed by Kagome, everything had changed and his nightmare had become a dream. He still worried for Kagome, but InuYasha was with her now. And Sango was here, with him. The mindgames of thinking he'd failed her and thinking her dead had left a dark residue, and he still needed to touch her to believe she was alive. Looking at her face, he remembered her words after InuYasha had left on Kilala. _Houshi, you saved me and I needed to save you. I couldn't live if you'd died._

She'd told him how his kazaana, trying to take out the section of Naraku that was targeting Kohaku, had also sucked in some shouki shards that were shooting out towards Sango before hiraikotsu had returned to be her shield. Had he not had his kazaana open, she would surely have died in the battle. As it turned out, holding open his kazaana as long as he had became the turning point, weakening Naraku and allowing Kagome close enough to almost purify the beast so that InuYasha could finish him off. In the end, it had been a team effort, and Sango had given him credit for saving them all… at least almost all of them.

His thoughts darkened as he realized that while Sango had put up a good front, trying to be cheerful and giving him credit for much of their success, she had not spoken of her sorrow for Kohaku, even though she'd silently cried herself to sleep. He knew that her brother's death was going to haunt her until she brought it forth and grieved. He moved his hand to her face, stroking her cheek. Her eyes were moving and he thought she must be dreaming. He thought he was dreaming, touching her with his unprotected hand, so smooth and whole. Placing his hand gently back on her hip, he closed his eyes and fell asleep with a smile on his face.

Sango's dreams were dark and fast. Images rushed by of monsters chasing her and attacking her. Somehow she kept managing to escape, but just barely. She didn't really even care about them, they were just in her way, she was chasing something too; and so she ran. Finally, she caught a glimpse – only a glimpse – of Kohaku's back as he ran away from her in the dark, and the monsters ran after them both. Him, always running away. Her, always unable to catch up. The nightmare pulled her into it, following him, running.

Suddenly, he stopped and as she ran, she began to feel hope. The sky began to lighten and the monsters receded, falling behind as she ran and ran. Kohaku was getting closer, he was going to let her reach him. And then she did; she caught up to him, put her arm out to touch him and he smiled at her. His face looked peaceful and happy. She felt a wash of love from him as he put his arms around her, wrapping himself at her waist and nestling against her as he had when they were young and at home in their father's house. She felt his happiness. He was happy and he wanted her to know it. Her heart burst, not with sorrow, but with joy. Joy for him.

And then she was cold. Her limbs felt stiff and her neck ached as she shifted it against Miroku's leg. Blinking her eyes open, she took in the light of the winter's dawn and saw her houshi's face, peacefully asleep. She looked down at his hand, the hand she'd never seen exposed, strong and uncalloused, gently resting on her rear. She laughed to herself and decided not to hit him - yet. They'd been through enough and the poor guy was asleep. She turned her shoulders back to lay them against the ground, putting her back in a twist that felt good. She'd have to get up and do some more stretches soon, but for now, she would enjoy the morning's sunrise with her houshi.

The image of Kohaku, contentedly wrapping himself around her waist, still warmed her. Her sorrow had returned with the fading of the dream, but somehow she felt he'd come to say goodbye, and that he was happy. It soothed her spirit to think he was in a place where he could be so happy. For just a moment, she felt the guilt she'd lived with for years lift, lightening her heart.

Miroku's hand started to move, stroking her lightly and she looked up at him. His eyes were still closed but a small smile played on his lips and she reached out to bat his hand away playfully. She didn't hit him that hard, but he winced and jerked his arm in. She'd hit his kazaana hand! Maybe it hadn't fully healed yet.

"I'm sorry, houshi-sama," she said, sitting up and putting a hand out to touch his sleeve. "Did I hurt you?" He cradled his hand in his other palm and opened his eyes as a full smile came onto his face.

"Only my heart, dear Sango." He reached down to sit up a bit more and cross his legs underneath him with a true wince of pain this time. Stretching out his neck and shoulders he bent his head down for a moment and then let his chin follow his eyes up to look at her with an unabashedly flirtatious wink. "I keep hoping someday you'll let me do that without whacking me." He let out an exaggerated sigh. "I guess I'll just have to keep waiting for someday."

She laughed and stood up, stretching in the early morning sunlight.

"You look lovely," he said. "And much happier than you did last night when you fell asleep crying."

"Yeah." She sobered a little bit, but didn't look too upset that he'd noticed. "I had a good dream."

"I'm glad," he said and tried to stand. His aching hip couldn't support his weight and he fell back down on his butt with a painful exhale. "Not quite ready for that, I guess." He looked around with a puzzled look on his face. "I must have lost my staff in the battle. Too bad, I could really use it about now."

"I'll go see if I can find it for you." Sango had a determined expression on her face that surprised him.

"No, Sango." Miroku was concerned. "It's not that important." _And I don't want you to leave again._

"It's okay, houshi-sama," she said, swinging her body in some twisting motions. "I could use the exercise." She leaned over to pick up hiraikotsu. "It's not that far, and I promise I won't be long."

As she ran into the woods, Sango felt strong, but she soon felt a heaviness descending on her again. Glad for the excuse to look for Miroku's staff, she also felt a sudden need to see Kohaku's body, to say her goodbye as he'd said his. She left deep tracks in the snow as she ran.

Miroku moved carefully around the camp site, building up the fire, taking care of some personal needs and then settling back down. As he reached for the blanket to put over his shoulders, he felt an aching pain deep in his chest, behind his heart. It was familiar and the shot of fear-induced adrenaline pumped through him to confirm his fears of shouki poisoning. Gingerly, he parted his robes to look down and see a bruised purple stain grow over his chest. It was back! _Damn it!_

He reached over and grasped the flask with Kaede's healing medicine, opening it to drink the last bit. As he lifted it, he felt a little tingle that came into him just before the liquid met his lips. Silently, he thanked Kagome for her blessing on the noxious stuff inside, and was aware again of how much power she must have gained in the final vanquishing of Naraku. The medicine itself was powerful, but he could sense the strength of Kagome's purification go more deeply into him than even the liquid could reach. His traveling companions often questioned his spiritual power, but he knew a powerful miko's blessing when he felt it. He said a little prayer for her in return and finished the noxious stuff. It cooled his throat and his belly as it went down, helping ease the ache growing in his heart.

He was breathing fast, a sign of his fear returning, and the familiar dread of not knowing if he had a day or a lifetime to live was like a wet storm gathering in him again. He'd been liberated from this haunt for less than a day and already he resented its return, already he'd grown accustomed to his freedom. Though realizing the stain and ache were still slight compared to his kazaana, which – when he double-checked -- remained banished, anger brewed in him anyway. It wasn't fair to be so whipped about; to be given hope and then to have it snatched away. Despite his years of training in acceptance of "the way" anger still found a place deep within him.

Sitting back to try and calm himself, he sent a little prayer out to Sango. He probably shouldn't worry about her, but he did anyway and he wanted her back selfishly. His eyes followed her footprints in the snow and he caught a flicker of movement between the trees where her path ended. Could she be coming back so soon? Sitting up, he squinted and caught a glimpse of her armored black outfit, but something was different. He couldn't see the flash of red on her shoulders and as his mind concluded that something was wrong, the slight form of Kohaku resolved out of the darkness, coming into the early morning light.

Miroku stopped breathing for a moment, shocked to see Sango's little brother, who was supposed to be dead, as he staggered out of the trees' protection and moved towards the fire. He was horribly wounded, the side of his face and one eye was a scabbed mass of blood and his shoulder drooped at an odd angle, as though something had tried to break it off and only sinew and skin kept it attached to him at all.

"Kohaku!" Miroku croaked out finally, unable to rise and help the boy. Suddenly he felt the pump of adrenaline flush through his body as the real began to feel more like the unreal. It was a familiar feeling from their many fights with Naraku, but Miroku found that this time he didn't have nearly the energy for it. Wounded and spent from battle, even the apparent good news of seeing Sango's brother alive was disconcerting. He was annoyed that he didn't feel more joy at the thought that Kohaku lived after all.

Kohaku looked up, his good eye focusing somewhat in Miroku's direction. He did not speak, but shuffled through the snow to collapse next to the fire. As he sat heavily, he lost his balance and fell, exposing his back briefly to the houshi, who saw a huge gash along his spine, deep and bloody, where Naraku had taken his shard. The skin around the wound was black and Miroku guessed that the yellow substance he saw was infectious puss, a reaction to Naraku's shouki poison. How the boy had survived these days in the snow puzzled him, but Miroku was sure he would not live much longer.

"Ane-ue!" the boy said piteously as he pushed himself up with his good arm.

"She's not here," Miroku found his voice again and reached for a flask of water, which he tossed to Kohaku. "Drink some water." The boy complied. "She'll be back soon." Miroku watched him carefully. "How did you survive the battle?" _And the snowstorms since the battle? _He wondered to himself.

"Uh?" Kohaku was having a hard time focusing. "Dunno."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Kohaku staring at the fire. Finally he blinked and moved his eyes to Miroku.

"Kill me," he said simply.

"What?" Miroku pulled back unconsciously, horrified. "No! I'm not going to kill you. Why would I do that?"

"I'm dying," Kohaku said thickly in his still-young voice. "I hurt, and I don't deserve to live anyway." He blinked again, focusing on Miroku for the first time. "Besides, you've always been jealous of me." An ironic attempt at a grin warped his mouth. "This is your big chance."

"No!" Miroku felt the tiniest stab of guilt at the tiniest little lie. He'd never admit his jealousy, ever. Remembering Mushin's teachings, he focused again on his compassion for the tortured soul in front of him. "Kohaku, Sango will be back soon and we'll take you to a healer. Perhaps Kagome is well enough by now to help you."

"Kagome." The boy said the name blankly, as though trying to place her. "InuYasha's girl."

"Yes." Miroku glanced around, trying to think of something else he could do for the boy. He must be freezing. "Here, take this." He took the blanket that had covered Sango as she slept and tossed it next to the fire. Kohaku groped at it awkwardly with his functioning arm, managing to get it around his shoulder. Miroku was surprised to see that the movements did not seem to cause him pain. Perhaps his nerves had been severed.

They sat a bit longer. Silent.

"Will Ane-ue be back soon?" Kohaku said dully into the fire. "Maybe she will take my life for me."

"She should be back soon," Miroku felt a stab of fear then, realizing what Sango would be faced with. "But don't ask her to kill you, please. She won't do it. She's been grieving for you terribly." He noticed the boy's face take on a brief look of satisfaction and the houshi became very unnerved. He was just about to ask the boy again how he'd managed to survive since the battle when he heard the ringing of his staff from deep within the trees. Sango was coming back.

"Houshi!" He heard panic in her voice. "Houshi! Are you alright? I saw-" he heard her gulp in her words as she broke the treeline and ran towards them, hiraikotsu at the ready and his staff in her other hand. As soon as her eyes took in Kohaku, huddling by the fire, she skidded to a stop, shock freezing her features. She dropped her massive boomerang and the staff in the snow and came forward quickly.

"Koh-" she dropped to her knees next to the boy and Miroku felt a twinge, wishing he could get to his staff. For some reason, he wanted to be ready to defend her. Sango touched the boy's knee lightly and Miroku watched as Kohaku's face took on a new recognition, softening into the features of the young boy that were even more familiar to him. Something nagged at his mind.

"Ane-ue," his tone was as they remembered it from their earlier journeys, after Kohaku had remembered his sins and resolved to help fight Naraku. It clearly broke Sango's heart and she reached out to him, trying to bring him into an embrace.

"Ah!" the boy pulled away, pain twisting his features. Sango pulled back.

"How?" The tears dripped from her voice.

"I don't know." Kohaku's voice was shaky. "I woke up and found those footprints." He moved his head carefully back in the direction from which they had come. "I followed them here, to the houshi." He glanced up at Miroku with unreadable eyes.

"I thought you were dead." Sango was crying now, clearly confused. "I can't believe it." She took his good hand in hers. "This is so wonderful." She actually laughed a little, beginning to imagine the life she'd never dared hope for and more recently begun to grieve. Miroku felt another twinge and tried to think of something to distract her. He felt the irrational need to warn her somehow, and was confused, wondering if his tiny little jealousy was coming forth despite all his attempts to deny its existence entirely. Uncertain, he remained silent.

"Ane-ue," Kohaku had that sad sound in his voice that broke both their hearts, "I want you to do something for me." Miroku felt dread coming over him. "Kill me." Her head snapped up to look at him. "Please, kill me."

"No!" Her voice was shrill with a tinge of panic. "What are you asking?" She actually moved away from him a bit, a pained expression on her face. The boy's response was to let the blanket fall from his shoulders and twist so she could see his back and the awkward angle of his shoulder as it hung limply from his body. She recoiled, but held a hand out to him. "No, Kohaku. We'll find a way to heal you."

"No." he said and now it was the anguish in his voice that pulled at them both. "I can't ever heal." Tears came into his eyes. "I can't forget now. Father…" His tears spilled down from his good eye and his sobs wracked them all with grief. "I was supposed to die." He mumbled through the tears. "I didn't want to live." He collapsed onto her arm as she reached for him. "Please? Please kill me?"

Sango was sobbing too as she held him. Miroku's heart ached again, the shouki pain and the emotional torture of the scene twisting in him to make him want to lash out, make this nightmare stop. But instead of heeding his desire, the torment deepened as he saw Kohaku's hand reach for the blade at Sango's waist.

"Stop!" the houshi managed to yell, just as the boy's fingers grasped the hilt. "Sango, stop him!"

She looked up at him, almost as if seeing him for the first time since her return. Unclear about what he was talking about, she did not react fast enough and Kohaku pulled the sword from its scabbard. Ice cold fear sliced through Miroku as the blade glinted in the sun, just above Sango's head. Sango did react then, out of sheer instinct, and moved to block the boy's arm, although it hadn't moved.

"Kohaku!" she said breathlessly, scared and confused. "What are you doing?"

"Doing what you don't have the courage to do." The boys' face had taken on a malicious expression. "I want it to end! I want the pain to go away!" He tried to bring the blade down but at the angle he held it, it would have to slice through Sango to get to his own body.

She managed to keep his arm aloft, but it was a struggle. How had he retained that much strength in his condition? Miroku ignored the pain in his heart and his hip and hoisted himself up, dragging himself towards them. Sango used both arms and managed to push the blade down to the ground, crying out at the tortured expression on Kohaku's face as his arm bent. Miroku stepped on the sword's flat side with his sandal and Sango loosened the boy's fingers from its hilt pulling the weapon away and handing it to Miroku.

Kohaku had collapsed in a heap, crying and sobbing, the ugly wound on his back facing up to the sky. It had begun to ooze puss again with the movement and its stench reached them both. All Miroku could hear was the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears, pulsing the pain from his chest into his head and his limbs. It was beginning to roil his stomach. Sango sat in shock. Just as she reached for her brother again, they both heard a noise on the wind, a familiar roar, and looked to see Kilala descend over the trees, InuYasha on her back with Kagome nestled in front of him. Relief flooded Miroku and he collapsed to the ground next to Sango and Kohaku's heaving form.

Even before Kilala's feet touched the ground, InuYasha had jumped off her, carrying Kagome, who was pale, but recovered enough to carry her bow and a determined expression on her face. InuYasha placed her gently on the ground. Unable to stand, he helped her sit and then both the hanyou and the big cat approached the three by the fire, growling.

"Get away from that thing!" InuYasha said and drew Tetsusaiga.

"What are you talking about?" Sango was confused and angry now. "Kohaku needs our help! Kagome! Can you heal him?" She pleaded.

"No." Kagome's voice was steady. "He cannot be healed here."

"Sango!" InuYasha let Miroku lean on him as the houshi moved away. "That is _not_ Kohaku."

Miroku limped over to sit heavily by Kagome, still holding Sango's sword in his hand. Kagome put her hand on him and he felt a rush of healing energy move into his leg, but not his heart.

"What?" Sango turned to look at her brother with new comprehension, remembering the story Miroku had told her about a remnant of Naraku's corpse haunting the houshi and the hanyou while she took Kagome for healing. "No! That can't be true…" her statement was a plea, a wish given to an unseen audience. It held no conviction, only hope.

"Sango," Miroku's voice was very sad, "I think InuYasha is right." He hesitated and then pulled his robes back to reveal the bruised flesh around his heart. "It came back this morning right before… he… showed up."

"Of course I'm right!" InuYasha hadn't taken his eyes off the Kohaku figure. "I could smell him before we even landed." Kilala growled in agreement. They were all quiet for a moment, waiting for Sango to say something.

"I know. You're right." Sango dropped her head, nodding it to the ground. She was on the verge of tears and they had to strain to hear her whisper. "I couldn't find his body in the snow. I believed…" she sniffed, "I _wanted_ to believe he'd survived. But I knew when the battle was over that there was no way he could have… lived."

"It's those fucking feet!" InuYasha was mad at himself now. "When this thing came at us before, I hacked off its feet and threw them away. They reformed into this disgusting thing!" He advanced. "Sango, get back!"

"No!" Kohaku lurched forward and managed to grab at Sango's leg, trying to pull her back to him. "Ane-ue!" His cry was that of a wounded child who didn't understand what had hurt him or how so much pain could possibly exist. "Don't leave me! Just… just kill me, please!" Sango struggled to loosen its grasp and they all heard the sobs she pushed out with the effort.

"I'll kill you, you miserable piece of shit!" InuYasha advanced, reaching down to grab Sango's arm and yank her away, lifting her fully off the ground and to her feet with one smooth motion of his arm. Kohaku's body lay on the ground, his horrible wound exposed.

Sango held onto InuYasha's arm for a moment, steadying herself but when he moved forward to raise the Tetsusiaga, she reached to pull his arm and the sword back down.

"InuYasha, please," her tone was deeply sad. "Wait just a minute." Turning to look at the twisted apparition of her brother, lying on the ground, she spoke. "You're not Kohaku, are you?" The thing was silent.

"Answer her, you asshole!" InuYasha's temper was running high.

"I'm your fears for him," the thing rose now, standing Kohaku's injured form as though not a wound affected it. "So, yes, I am him." It took a step towards Sango and InuYasha. "And I do want you to kill me." InuYasha started to growl. "I want you to stab him and feel the pain of his death fresh and anew, so you never forget the suffering you caused him."

"Shut up!" InuYasha shouldered in front of Sango, holding Tetsusaiga only inches away from the thing. "I'm not going to let you keep coming back with this twisted mindfuck of yours!" He started to move forward, but again, Sango reached out to stop him, putting her hand on his sword arm and trying to get him to lower it. InuYasha didn't lower his weapon, but he did stop his advance.

"Wait," Sango said again. "Let me do it."

InuYasha looked at her, surprised. "But you can't." He shot a look of pure hatred at Kohaku's body. "It will just keep reforming. I need to use Tetsusaiga."

"She can do it," Kagome spoke from behind them with a new formality to her tone, causing both Sango and InuYasha to cock their heads, trying to look at her without looking away from the Kohaku thing.

"What?" InuYasha's anger had not abated.

"What do you mean, Kagome?" Sango asked.

"With your sword." Kagome held up Sango's sword which she had taken from Miroku. "Wish for Kohaku's release, and your sword can destroy him."

"Kagome, are you sure?" InuYasha looked like he was itching for a big, nasty fight.

"Yes." Kagome said calmly. "I gave her sword the same blessing I gave Tetsusaiga, InuYasha. This nightmare has sought out Sango and so she is the best of us to remove it from the earth." She held up the sword in her hands and Sango backed towards her, only turning her back on Kohaku once InuYasha stood between the two of them.

"Thank you, Kagome." Sango lifted the sword ceremoniously from her outstretched hands and returned to take up a stance next to InuYasha and Kilala.

"You can't kill me, bitch!" All traces of Sango's twelve year old brother had left the thing standing before them, except for his body, and a ghost of Naraku's smooth, vicious voice came from it now. "I'm alive in you all." The sneer on his face was meant to chill them and it worked. Sango hesitated. Suddenly, the monster reached out and grabbed the blade of Sango's sword, pulling it into its body. The sword penetrated, but no blood flowed and the thing just laughed a cruel, ringing sound, like metal on rock. "See? Stab me all you want! It won't do a fucking thing." It started to pull the sword more deeply into it, forcing Sango to take a step closer.

Sango made a strangled sound of frustration and fear.

InuYasha was through with this stupidity and lifted Tetsusaiga once again, filling himself with powerful energy intended to cleanse the world of this abomination. Youki wind began to swirl around Tetsusaiga until, once again he felt a restraining hand on his shoulder and he turned an exasperated face to find Miroku holding him back, eyes fixed on Sango. InuYasha let him pass, but kept himself ready to intervene.

"Sango," Miroku spoke softly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"I…" Sango's shoulders were trembling. "I can't do it." They heard a sob and knew tears were flowing.

"Yes you can." Miroku spoke with confidence. "I'll help you." He put an arm around her shoulders, both to comfort her and to support himself on his wounded leg. His other arm reached down to put his hand over hers as they gripped the sword's hilt.

"You bastard houshi," the Kohaku thing growled. "You're just jealous of me, that's all. You just want her all to yourself, don't you?"

"What?" Sango said, confused again.

"No," Miroku said calmly. "I want Sango to be happy and I know that as long as you torment her, she will not be able to grieve her real brother who gave his life to save her."

Sango took a deep breath as Miroku's words hung in the clearing, touching them all.

"You're right, houshi-sama." Sango stood up taller, even though her voice was still faint, and she tightened her grip on the sword. _I need to do this for you, to heal you finally_. She took another deep breath, her voice lowering to an angry whisper. "I _can_ put you down, because I love my brother. To honor him, you must die." _And I know_ _I'll see him again... I already have_, she thought to herself, remembering the smiling boy in her dream that morning.

With Miroku's hand over hers, she withdrew her blade from the beast's body in front of her. Taking a deep breath and gathering her strength, she brought it down firmly on what looked to everyone's eyes like Kohaku's pleading face. As the blade touched it, the thing dissolved in a shower of purple sparks until nothing was left but the sadness echoing in Sango's soft weeping. Miroku leaned against her, comforting her even as she supported him.

They sat together and InuYasha related the fate of the jewel, Kagome having taken it into her body again in order to live and become a full miko. After this explanation, the hanyou had looked at Kagome and met her eyes in such a way that Miroku and Sango both felt there was more to the story, but they independently concluded that it didn't really matter whether they knew the details. Kagome had clearly come into more of her spiritual power and there was a calm and peace between their friends that they'd never felt before, and they both found it comforting after their recent ordeal.

As evening drew close, they sat by the fire resting their bodies and spirits in each other's company. InuYasha had gone hunting and brought back a few small rabbits to stake over the fire. Miroku sipped at the new healing drink that Kagome had brought him. The girls both smiled with him when he showed the clear skin on his chest and hand, completely free of the hated shouki stains. InuYasha just grunted. "Good. Now you'll be more use in a fight," the hanyou said, and then he cocked his mouth in a smirk.

"Maybe," said Miroku. "But I can't clean up after you any more, so you'd better stop making such a mess." They all laughed, even InuYasha.

"Is that thing really done haunting us?" Miroku asked the flames once night had fallen and they'd finished eating. Sango just stared into the fire, her eyes focused on the burning embers glowing beneath the dancing flames.

"I sniffed around pretty much everywhere when I was hunting," InuYasha said, as he looked up at Kagome, interested in her reaction. "I didn't smell anything else like it."

"Naraku is gone." Kagome spoke definitively, looking at Sango. "Just like Kohaku," she shifted her eyes to InuYasha, "and Kikyou and Kouga, even Naraku has moved on." She sighed as though weary. "But there will be others."

"There always are," InuYasha said sourly and tossed another branch into the orange blaze. "No end of assholes around here." There were general noises of agreement and the conversation died down a bit until Sango spoke up.

"I don't think I ever want to fight anything as hard as we fought Naraku." Everyone but InuYasha nodded.

"What about you, InuYasha?" Miroku asked. "Are you going to go looking for the next big, bad ugly oni?"

"Nah," InuYasha looked away, his eyes reflective, "I didn't even want to get involved in Naraku until I had reason, and the reason's done with." He glanced briefly at Kagome and caught her eye. "But something tells me the fights are gonna' keep findin' me." Kagome's face became sad, even as her nod agreed with him.

They were silent for a while longer, each staring at something that captivated their attention. Sango continued to look into the fire and InuYasha watched Kagome, who stared at the stars twinkling through the trees. Miroku fixed his eyes on his bare palm, unprotected and open to the night.

Before long all of them had lain down to sleep. Miroku and Sango curled into Kilala's solid warmth, facing each other but not touching. When InuYasha laid behind Kagome, spooning her with his warm body and fire-rat sleeve, the subtle changes in their nighttime arrangements were noted by all, but were comforting and so no words were said.

Early in the morning hours, InuYasha awoke to find himself pushing hard into Kagome's rear and rose as quietly as he could to place more logs on the fire and adjust his hakama pants. As he came back to her, he noticed she was awake. He smiled at her when her eyes gleamed at him in the firelight.

"Hey," he said without an apology, even as a warm blush spread across his cheeks, "can't keep a good hanyou down, you know." When she broke into a full grin, he snuggled up to her again and enjoyed a little press until she giggled. They were quiet for a few minutes, eyes open and staring at their friends across the firelight.

"Will Sango be okay?" InuYasha wondered quietly in Kagome's ear. "Even Naraku's trash can do a number on you." Kagome recognized the voice of experience.

"Yes," Kagome said a little less quietly. "The spell I put on her sword wouldn't have worked if both of them hadn't wanted what was best for Kohaku's soul, and for each other. That's an important beginning to the healing, to wish for another's well-being."

"Keh," InuYasha breathed, remembering his own pleas for Kagome's life only a day ago.

"They're very courageous," Kagome said. "They'll be fine." She smiled to herself when she saw her friends blink and move their hands together.

Kagome sighed. "We have to leave again soon, InuYasha."

He groaned faintly. "Tell me there's not another Naraku already."

"There are so many…" Kagome said just as faintly, "but we don't have to fight them all."

"We don't?" InuYasha couldn't make up his mind about whether this would be good news or not.

"No, we don't," her voice was weary, "we just have to help the ones already fighting them."

"Keh!" he said, thinking this over. "Well, I'm taking my sword anyway."

Kagome smiled and snuggled more deeply into his warmth.

_THE END_


	5. Chapter 5 Victory Suite Poem

_Disclaimer: This poem is mine. Don't even think about taking it._

**Victory Suite**

_Battle's end resolves into stillness,_

_declaring time unwelcome._

_Disturbing the veil between worlds,_

_glimpsing the shadowlands beyond,_

_victor and vanquished lie entangled,_

_one's last breath filling the breast of the other._

_A heart beats and the wheel turns again._

_In the chilled light of victory's dawning_

_tendril ties of loss slither_

_forth to bind the strong, yoking them,_

_uncertain, to the wheel of death,_

_its merciless turn pulling them down._

_Yanked by fear, seduced by despair, they waver._

_Their triumph becomes hope in the dark._

_On the first starlit eve of victory,_

_peace settles on weary souls,_

_soothing wounds and seducing the_

_wise to wish on a deathless path._

_But love grinds the wheel of life again,_

_pulling hope along in the wake of anguish._

_Wishes melt into the heart of truth._

_Daylight shines on victory's aftermath,_

_the death and the life laid bare._

_Memory, heartache and hope call_

_the courageous to turn the wheel_

_of fate. Crushed beneath its rim, they weep._

_Finding faith in endless cycles, they believe_

_love will bear the pain of sacrifice._

_© Fano 2006_


	6. Chapter 6 Victory Suite End Notes

_Author's End Notes:_

_Disclaimer: Just in case it wasn't clear earlier, I do not claim any rights to these characters or the essential plot devices. The poem, storylines and particular order of the words are mine, however._

"_Victory Suite" originally began as its first movement, "Victory's Nightmare," and was written for Numisma in April '06 for the IYFlashfic at Live Journal. I got very positive feedback on it and it occurred to me that the dramatic aftermath of the battle that InuYasha experienced would have been mirrored in each of the main characters, so the concept expanded into three standalone one-shots that also stand together – just like our heroically mythical characters. I've pulled them together with verse, but they are intended to work just as well individually. Just like a musical suite, they are meant to be enjoyable on their own, but come together for maximum impact._

_My goal in writing the suite was to "wrap things up" for our friends, but in a true-to-life way leave them to struggle with the essential dilemmas we all face in continuing to help root out evil wherever we find it in the world, but most often when we encounter it as fear within ourselves. Because we can't always go around fighting the biggest bad guys around (there are too many, after all) I wanted Kagome in particular to mature to the point where she did more good by helping others discover their own abilities to help bring light in the dark, first with InuYasha, Miroku and Sango and later with everyone she meets. That is my definition of a spiritually enlightened person. Ironically, it was ReikuTokijin's mild dis of Kagome as a "bodhisattva" in the manga recently that gave me this idea. Sorry, RT Miroku already displays this capability (when he's not being a lech) in the canon series, and it seemed only natural that if Kagome is going to come into her full power, she would have to get to this point and exceed Miroku's abilities. _

_I picked up the analogy of the Wheel of Fortune in writing the poem. I was looking for a central analogy as I wrote the poem and it seemed to fit. Whenever you're going up, it's just a matter of time until you go down etc. etc. Some will complain (actually already have) that it leaves the whole cycle open, but – well, yeah – welcome to the real world._

_The poem: I like to write poetry, though I can be a very impatient reader of it (well, okay, I'm an impatient reader of EVERYTHING, just ask Nokomarie). I felt this story was dramatic enough to warrant a ballad of sorts, so I challenged myself to write it – mostly for fun, but also so that when the experience of reading the three standalone pieces was complete, the poem could be reread with deeper meaning. I don't know if you think I pulled it off, but I was pleased with the effect._

_Special thanks to ouatic7, who beta read the original "Victory's Nightmare" and Numisma, DoggieEarLover, Dreaming Trees/Brown Recluse and Kitsune no hakage who have all have read, reread, proofed and otherwise beat up on it to help me strengthen it._

_I love reviews – particularly those that delve into the meaning and characterizations I've created. Let me know what you think!_

_Fano_


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